This post has almost nothing to do with life in the Middle East. But, I really wanted to write something on this topic.
There's a lot of press coming out of the States right now about bullying in schools. I think there's always been bullying in schools. But, with all the various ways humans have of communicating now, we all are quickly aware of bad things that happen half a world away.
When I was still a student (year 7 or 8?), we had tremendous freedom to roam about at lunch. What made it 'free' was that there never were any teachers around. It was prime time for bullies.
As a student, I was a 'nerd' - no surprises there. I learned to be proud of my nerd status. I made awesome grades in the hardest classes. I
knew deep down inside that I was really going to do something with my life. I got to a point where I really didn't give a $%&# what the 'popular kids' thought. The biggest bullies were the kids with the most money and the best looks. They were 'popular'. On the bus headed home from school (year 8), there was a big group of them who gathered at the back of the bus. One boy was kind of the leader of the pack. He looked at me one day and said, "You're such a snob. You never talk to anybody." My response? Well.....my response was, "No, I do talk to people. I just don't talk to you because you are so mean." After that, he left me alone until our year 11 English class. We had to read a poem we wrote ourselves with music playing in the background. He laughed and started making jokes about the music I chose. Many people in the class joined him then in laughing and making fun of me. The ironic part was that I made an A on my presentation; I think he made a B on his. Later, after beginning my first year at university, I was invited to return to my old school to speak with a few classes about university life. Guess who was also there? Yup, that same guy. I spoke first. I talked about how you have to work hard and really focus. He talked about how even though you try to focus and work hard, everyone ends up going to drinking parties. I heard he's a lawyer now - and a good one at that. You know what? I don't know if he ever saw himself as a bully.
Growing up, there were two types of bullies. There were the 'social' bullies and there were the 'criminal type' bullies. The social bullies said nasty things, made fun of people and excluded folks. The 'criminal type' were the really frightening ones.
As a student, I saw bullying that was horrifying. What makes it still so awful is that there were so many of us who felt so very powerless to stop it. We were afraid. When one of my friends was attacked in the boys' bathroom (the bullies ripped his shirt into shreds with a knife while he was wearing it), I was terrified. He was a big guy!
Again, around years 7 and 8, I remember a huge group of guys who would grab a helpless boy and lift him up off the ground (this happened during the lunch period). They would spread his legs and threaten to ram him up against the hard metal poles that held up the shade over the school walkways. I will never forget the screams of terror. Looking back, I so wish I had known what to do at the time. I was terrified into paralysis. After a few days, teachers/head master etc found out and put a stop to it. But, I think it finally stopped only when they heard the screams and commotion. I don't think a single student (out of a few hundred) told an adult what was happening. If there were students who told an adult, I applaud them for their courage.
Living where we live, I've actually had folks who work with kids tell me that bullying can be a cultural thing. That a kid who is raised by parents from 'such and such' culture are raised to be pushy and fight. I'm sorry. That's just not so. I don't think bullying is 'cultural'. I think it's universal. It's a not a cultural issue; it's a humanity issue.
Bad bullies have always been around. I've even seen nasty girl bullies. But if folks make a choice as a society that we are not going to put up with this kind of behaviour, then think about how different a lot of childhoods are going to be. And then, dare to dream. Think about how different the world would be.
Peace.
