So ready to give the brain a break

I am so very ready to let my brain have a break. Now some of you may think that my brain is half baked most of the time anyway. But, truly folks, I'm in dire need of a holiday.

The microcosm that is my munchkins' school is an unusually tolerant place. I love the fact that my kids have friends that if they were all packed into our family room at the same time my family room would look like a miniature UN. But, I had a recent experience that left me a bit frustrated and raw. I'm hoping that by writing about it, I can finally be at peace with it.

A bit of background on me first. I own several abayas; I own a massive collection of 'head scarves'. Do I always wear these items? No, I do not. But, I have a deep respect for women who do. Why do I own these things? I own them because I have had many times living in the Middle East that they are very nice to have on hand to wear should I need to or I choose to out of respect for the culture in which I find myself. I also need to add in that I do not wish to offend or malign anyone with this post. I simply want to 'put out there' an experience I had in the hopes that somehow it can be used to improve how we teach tolerance. Now, the story....

I had the honor a while back of accompanying a group of students from our school to visit a mosque as part of their Arabic language classes. Now, another bit of explanation - Arabic language classes also teach about 'local' culture. Because we live in a predominantly Muslim country (this is the Middle East!), Islam is very much woven through everyday life here and is thus part of the 'local culture'. I am thrilled that my kids learn about religion and other cultures. If I hope to raise tolerant children, then I must see that they learn about cultures and faiths that are not our own. But, I fear that my recent experience did not teach tolerance.

The teachers had done their best to prepare the students for the visit. Please remember - these kids come from many different backgrounds and their families follow many different faiths. Upon arriving at the mosque, a number of the girls - particularly taller ones or ones who were 'physically developing' a bit early, were pulled out of our group to cover themselves more before entering the mosque. None of these girls had yet reached puberty, were modestly dressed and had their hair covered. For these girls who were singled out, it was an unpleasant experience. One, it was men who were verbally pulling them aside which even to myself - a confident grown woman - was intimidating. Second, these girls already feel 'different' because they are taller or more mature looking than their classmates. Even though the teachers had tried to prepare the students that these kinds of things may happen because a certain level of clothing is required when entering a mosque (and certain mosques in particular), we still had girls in tears. I deeply worry that these girls did not leave with an appreciation of the place they had visited. As a mum who is frequently used to herd children on field trips etc...I did what I could to comfort these girls. I tried to draw their attention to the physical beauty of the place. I asked them to try using their Arabic skills to attempt reading the writing that was incorporated into the architecture that was around them since I can only read a few Arabic letters. [I must add that our guide was impressed with the Arabic reading level of the students. Kudos to the Arabic teachers!]

I still marvel that non-Muslims are allowed in some mosques for special tours - I think it's great. If tolerance is to be taught, then 'open minds and open doors' are a very good thing. But, teaching religion is tricky. How do we teach about religion and how humans differ from one another in terms of culture without causing harm? What could have been done differently so that these girls were not in tears? I have a few thoughts/ideas that I will be sharing with next year's Arabic teachers - at least about future field trips to specific places. But, again, how do we teach tolerance? I wish I had the answer, but I am certainly looking for it.

Peace.