A Former Ex-Pat looks at Thanksgiving etc....

Well, Thanksgiving and Black Friday are now over. This was the first Thanksgiving in six years for my family to be on American soil. We did a traditional American Thanksgiving snarf fest just like we've always done, but it was so nice not having to comb through multiple grocery stores for weeks or even months stocking up on specific ingredients. I will admit, I used to horde French's Fried Onions since green bean casserole is such a fave in our house. I used to keep any where from 2 to 3 large containers of the things in the villa/apartment at any given time.

Before moving over seas, we always would get up in the morning and crash out in front of the TV watching parades. This year, we never turned them on. We are too much in the habit of baking/cooking and decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving Day to care much about the parades. Instead, we blared 'classic' Christmas music through the speaker system (think Bing Crosby).

The thing I actually missed about Thanksgiving as an ex-pat is sharing Thanksgiving with non-Americans. It is excellent fun to invite someone over who has never experienced the massive spread of food at a dinner party that is very American. The best was seeing the faces of the munchkins' friends staring at a spread of homemade pies. It made all that work in the kitchen so very worth it. It was also wonderful to have over other Americans who didn't have any family close by.  Being outside of the States, we put serious effort into celebrating Thanksgiving.

This was also the first 'Black Friday' I have experienced in six years. The husband and I made a brief trip to the hardware store and the grocery store on Friday. The hardware store wasn't crowded at all which was a pleasant surprise and the same for the grocery store. The closest shopping mall, however, was so crowded that cars lined the frontage road waiting for parking, and a local Baptist church made some extra money hiring out their parking lot to mall shoppers. I, on the other hand, ran to two majors stores today. I got the same prices I would have paid on Friday and there were no crowds. 'No crowds' was great for me - I  was done in less than an hour - but I'm not so sure how that's going to fare for the retailers. But, the amount that Americans consume/buy is just not sustainable, and I think we're going to be feeling the repercussions of that for a long time.

Now that we are into the Saturday after Thanksgiving, there is only a tiny fraction of one pie left (we started with two), the cinnamon rolls are gone, and the stuffing is just about gone.  And I'm tired of being in the kitchen. Maybe we help the economy and go out to dinner tonight?

Peace.

Christmas Traditions

I was going through some old photos on my computer when I came across this little gem. This photo is probably 8-10 years old.  We were at a place for Christmas that hadn't seen snow in literally a hundred years. Naturally, we had to make snowpeople including a pet snowdog.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving which means we put up our Christmas decorations, eat a ton of food, and hang out as a family all day. We got into the habit of decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving because while we lived in Dubai, the munchkins and I would have the day off from school, but the husband had to work. So.....we began a new tradition.

Now that we are back home in the States, the husband will be part of the tradition of decorating for Christmas on Thanksgiving day. The kids are super excited. There of boxes of new decorations awaiting happy munchkin hands in the dining room.  The husband and I took the munchkins to Hobby Lobby while all the Christmas stuff was 50% off. Since we don't have much in the way of Christmas decor amongst the stuff we brought from Dubai, the husband told the munchkins, "You each have $30. Go pick out Christmas stuff for the house."  You can't believe the joy with which my kids filled the cart at Hobby Lobby. After being away from such a plethora of Christmas decor for so long, it was like letting kids loose in a candy shop.

We also have another odd little tradition in our family - visits from Herman the Googalie.  Long before there was the whole elf on a shelf thing, my grandmother and I think great-grandmother knew about Herman. Herman is a special helper of Santa's. He visits before Christmas and leaves cute little gifts. One time, I remember going out onto the front porch at night with snow all around and actually talking with Herman. Very thrilling stuff to a four year old! My family has always been very into fairies and 'forest magic'. We even have a quiet little place on our farm that we call the Fairy Dancing Place. I used to find 'fairy notes' on bark from birch bark there as a young girl. There has always been 'magic' in my family.

Now that I am a mother, my children get visits from Herman the Googalie. But, the tradition has changed a bit. My munchkins each write a letter to Santa and place a 'magic' stamp on it (usually some very special sticker they have picked out). These letters are then left somewhere that Herman can find them, usually by a door or out on a patio. The letters than disappear (ie Herman collects them) and a little gift from Herman appears in their place. Many times, Herman leaves behind a half finished cup of coffee or half eaten snack he pulled from the kitchen, as well. 

Now that the munchkins are older, Herman may not visit for a few years which makes me a bit sad and wistful.  But I know that if my munchkins ever have munchkins, then Herman the Googalie will be back to spread Christmas magic.

Peace.

How to Leave a Comment

Ok, just a quick odd little post since it is stormy wintery weather outside and I have nothing else to do. Actually, I am pondering quilt ideas. I just cut a rather sizeable stack of quilt blocks; now I just need to figure out how I am going to use them.

It is the first day of holiday break for the kids, and the first thing Munchkin #1 wants to do is visit the library. And, Munchkin #2 is on the sofa in front of the fireplace attempting to plow through the book Catching Fire in less than two days. I told ther that she had to read the book before I'd take her to see the movie. I LOVE my kids!

Now, on to business.

I have had several family members ask me how to leave a comment to a blog post. Here's the drill:

Step 1 Click on 'Comments' or 'No Comments' at the bottom of a post. The 'No' bit disappears if there is already a comment.

Step 2 In the 'Comment As' pull down box, you can either use your Google name (ie what you have attached to your gmail account), you can choose Anonymous, or you can create an identity some other way. Most of the other choices are associated with other blogs. Anonymous is just fine if you are family because I have a listing of IP addresses that visit this blog, so I can probably figure out who the comment is from.

Step 3 In the box you can type in, type your comment. I recommend clicking 'publish' to publish it and skipping the preview. But please note that nothing is published until I read it and approve it. But, I'm very quick about getting that done.

I hope this helps!

Happy commenting!

Peace.

Living Life On-Line

Thanks go out to my Dad for emailing me the awesome snow pictures of our deck at the farm house. I am so loving being where there is actually a change of seasons.

I was at a rockin' good women's Bible study this morning. One of the nice things about being back in the States is how easy every thing is here including attending weekly Bible studies. I'm currently doing two; I'm a Bible study addict. I'm also totally addicted to coffee, but that's another matter entirely. If I can attend a Bible study AND drink coffee, then you know I am a seriously happy situation.

I was reading through the New York Times and came across the following article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/21/fashion/social-networking-App-allows-women-to-rate-men.html?pagewanted=1&ref=general&src=me

So...here is this new app thingy where women can log in and rate men. Really? Not cool folks. I realize that things happen like various ex's posting naked pictures of each other as break-up retaliation on-line, but does the world really need an app for girls to talk about guys? Posting anything 'not nice' (extreme understatement) about another person is just plain wrong. Period. Full stop. I'm not excusing the nasty horrid things that some men post on-line sometimes, but is this new app thing really helpful?

First, I think it is totally wrong to gossip about others. If I wouldn't want a picture of me in a certain pose or with a certain dumb expression on my face or whatever else posted on-line, than why would I ever do that to someone else?

I feel like I live my life on-line. Think about it: paying bills, emailing for work and personal stuff, various social media, blogging about stuff that like only 5 people might ever read. I love the internet. I love reading ancient text translations on-line, I read news, I laugh a funny cat videos, I read blogs, I write THIS blog. But, really.....I can't get over how the internet has taken bullying to a whole new level of badness.

My kids both use some social media - but not much.  I think they are concerned about what they put out there about themselves. I am glad they are not 'deep' into Facebook or Twitter. I'm not saying that Facebook and Twitter are bad things, but I do think that everyone, especially kids, have to be careful what they put out there for others to see.

So....my concerns as a mom of a boy about this new app for women to rate men......

This new app looks like it requires women to log in using their Facebook accounts. Here is what the app says it is collecting about a user's Facebook account: "Lulu will receive the following info: your public profile, friend list, email address, relationships, birthday, education history, hometown, current city and photos and your friends' relationships, birthdays, education histories, hometowns and current cities." Ok....so? Well, if you log onto this thing, you just gave away a bunch of personal data. Plus, you may not be as anonymous as you think you are. Someone somewhere whom you don't know just got a whole bunch of info about you. So.....

It is very easy to create a fake Facebook account. I've seen Facebook accounts for family dogs, I've seen fake Facebook accounts set up for the express purpose of on-line gaming (not by me, but I've seen some).  Using a fake Facebook account, how easy would it be for an angry person to go on-line and anonymously post nasty false statements about a guy? True, I don't know a whole lot about how this new thing works, but I have deep concerns about it. Potential employers could even figure out a way to access it. Not cool.

I am seriously into teaching kids about on-line safety. I deeply believe that using internet filters just isn't enough. We have to teach our kids how to navigate the on-line world just like we teach them how to navigate in the '3D world'.  Because when our kids step out of our homes, the 'filters are off'.

There is a comment section below each blog post. Just click 'Comments' or 'No Comments' and type away. I preview all comments before they are actually published. As long as it is not profane etc....I publish them. Spam comments I delete/report.

Peace.

Rheumatoid Arthritis Remission

I dearly love this photo. If anyone lays down for a snooze or to read on our sofa, Max Kitty is almost immediately there ready for a snuggle. He loves to be wrapped up in a fleece blanket on a lap for sometimes hours if you can stay on the sofa that long. Munchkin #2 was playing games on the Husband's iPad which made for the perfect Max snuggle opportunity.

Other days, Max would snuggle in with my Munchkin #2 while we had her joints packed with ice because of sore arthritis knees or wrists. Thankfully, we have not had to do that for a while.

The rheumatologist here in the States that we go to is talking 'remission' with regards to Munchkin #2's rheumatoid.  I know that the terminology has changed a bit, but I am still most comfortable and knowledgeable using the term 'rheumatoid'.  When we both first heard this from the rheumy, you can imagine the shock. The initial reaction was actually fear.  My kid, almost in tears, begged the rheumy not to take her meds away from her.  Now, however, Munchkin #2 is hoping to get away from having to take the weekly methotrexate injections.

I have tremendous fear about all this because of all we went through to get those meds. For my daughter, that vile nasty injectable danger was a actually miracle in a bottle. For us, it wasn't this horrid thing to be afraid of, but a medicine to be embraced. The effects were amazing in a good way.

So now that we are looking at walking away from this drug, it is of vital importance that my daughter and I feel VERY comfortable with our rheumy. And, unfortunately, neither of us really does. We're both really scared about the whole thing. My daughter is at the point where she feels it is worthless to talk with the rheumy at all. Not good.

So...being the way that I am, I decided to do some digging on the internet about RA remission. It is not a cut and dry kind of issue. First, give this a read.

http://www.arthritisselfmanagement.com/condition/rheumatoid/remission-a-goal-of-ra-treatment/?page=all

Remission is a definite goal, but one of the things we both worry about is having a flare when my daughter just doesn't have time to mess with flares. Flares disrupt daily living. They can make simple things like changing classes via stairways with a backpack very difficult. In the middle of a flare, sports and PE are usually off the menu - a almost horrifying thought to a child who loves her sports. My daughter gave up competitive gymnastics because of this disease, and she can't run track because it hurts her knees (a child who wants to run should be able to run!). Just regular PE class can cause knee pain even when she is not in a flare. By going off meds, we are greatly increasing the risk of a flare.

When my munchkin was first diagnosed, she used to have to fill out forms about how she was feeling and how her daily life was. I was reminded of this by this article:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2013/11/17/242366259/why-a-patient-s-story-matters-more-than-a-computer-checklist?ft=1&f=1001

We once visited a clinic where I mailed almost 70 pages of medical records weeks ahead of  time that the rheumy demanded access to. We got to the office, and he hadn't read ANY of them. When we tried to explain her symptoms, her pain levels were not believed. He felt joints but she looked 'ok'. MRI's were done showing bits of fluid in joints here and there, but she was proclaimed 'normal' yet we knew she had active RA. Her RA was so active that another rheumy in a different city (country actually) put her on injectable methotrexate changing her life.

The forms that tend to be standard in so many clinics, we have not filled out once since starting with the current pediatric rheumy here in the States. For bits on these forms, have a read:
http://www.sf-36.org/demos/SF-36.html

And....  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16273780 

It gets frustrating when all the rheumy cares about is what they can see and feel in the patient. In the case of my daughter, she only had severe morning stiffness at her total rock bottom of 'bad flare'. As a mom, I am terrified of the rheumy who doesn't listen to my daughter taking her miracle med away and not letting her have it back until she is at rock bottom bad flare again.

We have an appointment with the rheumy the first week of December. We have tried changing to a different rheumy within the practice, but they won't let us. Hideously frustrating.

Here is hoping and praying that the remission is real and that communication with the rheumy is better. Otherwise, I am ready to drive to another city to find a doctor whom we both feel we can trust will not let rock bottom bad flare happen ever again.

Peace.

 

Books, kids, and money wasted in America?

First, have a read:

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/oct/15/neil-gaiman-future-libraries-reading-daydreaming

My family spends a bunch of money on books when we can't find time to get to a library. For us, this is not luxury spending. It is spending as vital as groceries. Thinking about this...made me want to get something else off my chest.  We are so busy rushing to this or that activity, that we don't have time to go to the library.


My kids, like most American kids, are heavily involved in activities that are not academic. They do music/sports etc...


I am blown away at how much time we expect our children in this society to spend on extra-curricular activities. Yes, activities outside of school are important. But, at what point is it too much?


I see in the press so many times/places where American schools are compared to schools in other countries. There always seems to be the question of why do American kids have lower test scores than a kid in this or that other country?  I feel the answer is fairly simple: we don't really value education (ie academics) the way we think we do.  We don't really put academics first. Really, we don't.


For example, I know that a certain high school band is practicing 9+ hours a week.  The kids are also expected to practice different music on their own each day.  In order to move this band to and from a local stadium, it took around 5 large buses and 3 trucks.  There are fees approaching $700 for each member of the band that the parents must pay each year in addition to the cost of private music lessons.

I love music.  I love to see my kids participate in sports. There is tremendous value in extra-curricular activities.  But seriously, if kids were studying or reading or practicing math half this much just think about where the state of education in this country would be. If we were spending even 25% of what we pay as parents for extra curricular activities towards things like science lab equipment in our schools, just think of the possibilities.

At the end of the day, what is more likely to pay for your home, your car and your life in general: the way you carried a ball or played an instrument or.... how well you can do math/reading/writing?

Peace.

How I passed the #138 Life Science 8-12 TExES

 

If you are stressing, just breathe, relax and chill like Max here. You'll get through it with steady studying and perseverance.

 

 

Well, long time no blog. I have been busy, for months, studying for my teaching certification exams here in the States. I really didn't find a satisfactory way spelled out on line to study for the Life Science portion, so I thought I'd detail how I studied. Of course, I can't speak about what was actually on the exam, but I can tell you my study method and the books I used.

 

 

Since I've actually been teaching/tutoring math/algebra for a number of years, I was more than a bit nervous about taking a biology exam. But, since my BS degree is in Marine Biology, I needed to pass the Life Science exam before I could tackle any of the math tests.  It's been over 12 years since I did any biology anything other than substitute teach in a biology classroom.

 

 

First, a brief word on the PPR.  I took the one for K-12. In addition to doing every single practice test I could get my hands on, I also memorized all the terminology I was unfamiliar with in every practice test. For instance, if I seemed to miss ELL type questions, I went and looked up definitions for all those ELL terms and related terms and memorized them. I did lots of background research on the internet on subject areas I had not seen in years. Being a biologist, I am used to memorizing large chunks of data. I made lists according to topics and memorized them. I passed the first time with flying colors.

 

 

Now, on to the Life Science 8-12. 

 

I took the test recently, but I started really studying back in July. I went to a used book shop and picked up copies of text books newer than what I already had. I bought a copy of Glencoe Science 'Biology the Dynamics of Life' (high school level book) and an updated, again used, Campbell 'Biology' along with the study guide to accompany Campbell Biology. The study guide cost more than the hardcover text book.  I used these particular titles because they are what I was able to buy easily.

 

 

I did the practice test provided via the state website to get a feel for what I needed to practice. It was kinda 'I needed to practice everything.' So, I started with the high school Glencoe Science. I worked through the entire text book taking notes on particular definitions or diagrams I didn't feel comfortable with. I ended up with about 50 pages (front and back) of hand written notes to go back and review and work with that I had created from the high school book.

 

 

While reading through my hand written notes about every other day, I worked my way through each of the competencies outlined in the downloadable test prep booklet from the state's website using the Campbell Biology book. As I read through Campbell, I made little sticky note tabs marking processes or diagrams I wanted to come back and review further. I think I ended up with about 20 or so sticky noted items that I continually reviewed. I am a very visual learner, so I find diagrams and charts very helpful in addition to paragraphs of explanation.

 

 

Once I finished going through all of the competencies in Campbell including using the chapter questions in Campbell for practice, I downloaded and took the practice test (again, from the state website) of the new Life Science test for 7-12.  I wanted a different practice test to try to spot my weak points.

 

 

A smaller list of weak points in hand, I used the Campbell Study guide to work my way through material I wanted to be stronger with.  It was a very helpful book because the questions were multiple choice.

 

 

I studied anywhere from an hour to 3+ hours a day depending on my schedule. Because I needed to review so much material, I tried to do at least something every day.  I will also add that I used the study guide from Xamonline, but I found working my way through Campbell with the competency list and using the questions at the end of each chapter I needed to review in Campbell along with the Campbell study guide was way more valuable.  I wish I had saved my money and not bought the Xamonline book. It was helpful, but only a tiny bit.

 

 

So....to summarize a bit.....

 

Use a college freshman level/AP level up to date text book to work through the competencies. And, don't neglect a great resource at hand - the questions at the end of the chapters.  How do we teach biology? Well, first you read, then you answer questions or discuss, then you do a hands on something or other.  Us grown-ups learn the same way.  We need to go through the questions at the end of the chapters just like the kids.

 

 

And, obviously from my grammar, I'll never teach English.

 

 

Please feel free to post comments that you think might be helpful to others that do not detail test specifics. No cheating allowed here!

 

 

Peace.

Use oil companies to pressure Saudi Arabia to do more work on MERS

Just read this article at Salon.com.  It originally appeared in Scientific American.
http://www.salon.com/2013/06/10/surgical_masks_for_ramadan_new_virus_has_pandemic_potential_partner/


What is MERS? The short answer is that it is a very nasty virus that we know almost nothing about. And, it seems, that it is Saudi Arabia that is the epicenter of the battle against the virus. The problem, as I see it/understand it, is that Saudi is not being as focused and/or as forth coming with info regarding this disease as they could be.

So...my idea.....

Western oil companies have a lot of personnel working on the Arabian pennisula. I feel that if the WHO worked with those Western oil companies who have a vested interest in keeping things healthy on the Arabian pennisula to put pressure on the Saudi government officials, then maybe greater action from the Saudi government would be seen.

I am NOT asking for anything illegal. It just seems that since the WHO is having little progress, why not work through the business organizations who are very much entrenched in the region and who have some pull already.

Please feel free to comment.

Peace.

Prom Season

http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/13/opinion/simmons-girls-proms/?iref=obinsite

I just read this article on CNN about how horrible and damaging proms are. Every year I read stuff about how horrible bad they are, and I read how wonderful they are.  Clearly there are some conflicting points of view out there.

I find it fascinating how much focus prom gets from people. At the end of the day, it's a school dance. That's it. It is just a school dance. So, I guess I'm going to add a tad more focus.

So...let me back up for a minute.

When I was a high school student, I attended a number of formal and semi-formal events. I saw parties that were very exclusive - society kind of things held at country clubs etc. I even attended now and then.  Those types of parties were designed to exclude. Each host or hostess was allowed to invite 20 people. Again, very exclusive. One of my best friends didn't get on the invite list to a particularly anticipated party. I asked one of the hosts, who happened to be my boy friend at the time, if he could get her in.  He told me he couldn't at that point; it was out of his hands. My friend was devastated. My boyfriend was invited to several of these types of functions because he had been a 'host' at one. I didn't make those guest lists because I wasn't fully part of the 'correct' social circle. No, I am not bitter. I had an amazing senior year of high school because I made it an amazing year. 

The flip side is prom. In the same community, most of the proms that year were held at country clubs. Anyone in the high school who was a junior or senior could buy a ticket and go, and the tickets were not hideously pricey as I recall. So, if you really wanted that 'exclusive' feeling kind of party experience the prom was your chance. I went to the prom, but it was a quiet night. No flashy limo, my dress was made by a lady in the community from a pattern and fabric I bought with my mom, and my boyfriend at the time and I went out for a simple quiet dinner together. I had, I think, more fun than a lot of the girls who went all out $-wise with the dresses and hair and and and and........ I was relaxed. I knew it wasn't the biggest night of my life. That's the difference isn't it? I KNEW it wasn't the biggest night of my life. If prom is one of the biggest nights of your life than what are you going to do with the other 60-70 years or so?

So now, back to the present day. As a mom of two kids who are in or entering the teen years, we are already talking about this kind of stuff. I am teaching my kids that prom is not the be all to end all. At the end of the day, it is just a school dance. Life is long and can be full of adventure. There is college/university, there are passports to use, plane tickets to buy, careers and possible families to pursue. Ok, I didn't get invited to some exclusive parties, but what have I done? I've worked as a marine biologist, I've helped more kids than I can count achieve their academic goals, I've provided spiritual guidance to more teenagers than I can count, I've done all kinds of stuff in the Middle East getting to rub shoulders with some brilliant church leaders, I've traveled.  Most important of all to me is I am in a beautiful family. And, I'm not done yet!  As I sit here typing this, I have no clue what's coming next for me. I am in a career holding pattern (ah, the not so wonderful side of being a returning ex-pat). But, I know there are good things coming. And none of it had anything to do with my senior prom back in high school.  I can't change the whole 'prom' thing, but I can affect my own attitude about it and hopefully my kids' attitudes about it as well. It's just a school dance.

Peace.

To Bikini or Not to Bikini

Ok. Really. Let me just say one thing first - CULTURE!!!

When we were living in the Middle East - Dubai specifically, we lived for a number of years on the palm tree shaped island of Palm Jumeriah. I loved to lay on the beach or go for a quick snorkel. I would see women on the beach totally covered up - all in black.  I would see women who wore 'burkinis' - all covered up but hands, face and feet showing. And, I would see women in bikinis. The bikinis ranged from barely covering to mostly covering showing some lower back and belly.  I almost never ever saw a one piece bathing suit on that beach.

The only times I ever saw one piece suits they were on American women. I did see lots of women who were 'plus sizes' like US 16+ wearing bikinis. That's right. 16+ in bikinis.

Feeling fabulously liberated by this, I bought a stack of bikinis. Frankly, in high heat they are more comfortable.  I own two Speedo brand bikinis  to wear under my 'skins' for when I snorkel. I like a bikini over a one piece for loads of reasons.

Now that I am back in the States, the whole bikini thing is back in debate. My daughter, a big bikini lover, is wearing her old tank-ini suit thing because she has heard other girls' mothers complain about letting girls wear bikinis. Really? I am rather frustrated [insert grumble grumble] that some other mothers have made my daughter concerned about her body. My daughter who spent 6 years in the Middle East and has only been in the States a few months. [grumble]

It is all about culture folks. Some places I have traveled, the women go topless on the beach. Other places, the women dress totally in black including covering the face. Do the women on the topless beaches get harassed by men? Likely not - the men are used to it.  I have seen men stare at women on multiple continents no matter what the women were wearing.  It is all about how the MEN are raised. It is all about cultural context.

The only time I have ever 'been seriously approached' by a man it was when I was still working as a marine biologist. I was in the United States.  I had just trailered a 21ft boat by myself with a brand new diesel 4X4 standard transmission truck and was proceeding to offload all kinds of surveying equipment from the boat.  Every single man on that dock stopped and stared at me. One man came up to me and very politely asked, "Ma'am, are you married?" I told him that I was. He said, "Ok. Thanks. I just had to ask."  Why did every man stop and stare at me? I think it was because I was different. How many girls like being out on a boat all day AND know how to drive it, trailer it and take care of it? Probably not that many. I was wearing, at the time, longish very ugly men's cargo shorts (they didn't make them for women back then), a very baggy ugly dirty t-shirt, and a men's ball cap with a fish hook on the brim, and bulky sunglasses around my neck with a very dirty pair of Sperry deckshoes/topsiders to round off my oh so sexy look. [insert sarcasm].  Doing water quality studies and surveying all day I was not exactly clean and tidy. I smelled horrid and looked worse. My father used to call me a 'muck scientist' since I was always covered in muck. Yet, I was appealing to those men on the dock. Appealing enough that one of them would come ask me if I was married!

What any person wears projects messages to the world. Those messages can change based on the cultural context in which those 'messages' are being viewed. Snorkeling on the UAE/Omani border near Musandam once, I was helping my husband put together our inflatable kayak at our vehicle. I was completely covered wearing dive 'skins' (a lycra suit thing - very comfortable, keeps me from burning when I'm out for hours). I am a slightly chunky forty something-ish mom now. My being out there like that nearly caused two traffic accidents because local men kept slowing down to look at me. My husband actually made me get in the car to wait until he put the kayak together. I wasn't breaking any laws, and I was with my husband. The local men were not used to seeing a woman dressed like I was and doing what I was doing. My husband thought it was because I kept bending over working on the kayak.  So I tried squatting down rather than bending at the waist. It didn't help the situation. Yet, I was totally covered up! Cultural context folks. No one would have given me a second look in Belize except to maybe think, "Wow. Cool, a pontoon kayak for two people." And in the States? Ditto about the kayak, and no one would care except to think, "Sheesh, she needs to lose weight." Even though America is generally an over-weight kind of place, we are very tough on how women look in this culture.

So, back to the bikini question. I am allowing my daughter to wear a bikini any time she wants here in the United States. My rule is that it must be comfortable and stay on her body if she is sliding/body surfing/snorkeling or whatever. And, I'm going to go out an see if I can find a new one for me since my favorite one is wearing out. And, I'll be looking for it in a size 14 or 16 U.S.  As long as a woman isn't breaking any laws, she should be able to wear whatever she wants. Ditto for men. Why don't we try raising our boys to respect women and a woman's right to choose and a woman's right to express herself?

Peace.

Post script....I bought a fab new bikini at JCPenney. Very happy with it! Thanks local store for stocking lots to choose from!

Teens Dating - Frightening Stuff

If you are a kid, stop reading this. Now.

I just read this story on ABC News:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-cheerleader-denies-felony-charge-lesbian-relationship/story?id=19225512

What I find especially interesting about this story is not the fact this is about two kids involved in a same gender relationship, but that teenagers who are 18 can get into so much trouble for dating a younger teenager.  I hear moms in my neighborhood/community talk about this issue all the time.

Personally, I think the maturity gap between an 18 year old and a 14 year old is rather wide in most cases. Do I think the older girl involved in this story deserved to be sent to an alternative school? I don't know.  But, as a parent I find the possibility that an 18 year old kid could get into legal trouble dating a 16 or 17 year old kid frightening. If an 18 year old gets into trouble because of a consensual relationship with a fellow high school student who is younger than 18, then that 18 year old could be labeled as a sexual offender with their name and address published for the whole world to see. These kids become, I believe, convicted felons.  Adults who are sexual predators should be held accountable for their vile actions by the legal system.  I just wonder if as a society we are going a step too far in dealing with our teenagers. I have no idea 'how far' a relationship between kids has to go before it could result in legal troubles. Do you? Do most parents? Or are we just guessing?

So, the question is, in my mind, how do we deal with these kinds of legal issues as a society? Do we forbid our kids to date? In many cultures dating is not allowed along with massive and sometimes dangerous repercussions for kids who get caught dating (really frightening). Do we just say, oh who cares. Let an 18 year old have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with a 14 year old?  I do think that there is likely too wide a maturity gap between a 14 year old and an 18 year old to be in a 'relationship'. At the same time, how can we handle these types of things appropriately within our legal system?  And, as is the case sometimes, how should it be handled if a younger child is attacked by an older child within the same family? Mental health services, felony conviction?  I just don't know.

I had a very serious talk with my munchkins about this. Because part of this discussion, I feel, needs to be how we talk with our kids about sex. There are so many grey areas - this is all not just about the basic actions that could cause a pregnancy. There are just so very many ways kids can and do experiment. So what's a parent to do? How do we best protect our kids? Well, I believe the first thing  you have to do is talk about it. You have to talk about ALL of it. We need to wake-up and realize that these grey areas are out there and that if we don't talk about them with our children they may think, 'Hey, this is ok for me to try this because it is not actually sex (according to whatever definition they think is associated with the word 'sex')'.  If we don't educate our own children, then who will? 

I am not a lawyer. I don't know diddly squat about some aspects of our legal system, but I do know that some things scare me as a parent.  And this is one of them.

Peace.

Arthritis pain or not arthritis pain - that is the question (TMJ)

After a recent trip to the dentist, Munchkin #2's left jaw joint (the TMJ) was popping in and out of place. It was hurting for her to open her mouth wide. After using a heat pack and lots of Aleve, it was time to call the rheumatologist.

So...was this just a freak thing after being in the dentist's chair, or was this a sign of things to come?

After phoning the rheumatologist's office, they deemed that my munchkin needed to be seen. At the appointment, they couldn't confirm, or deny, if it is arthritis. They did prescribe a very low dose muscle relaxer to be taken at bedtime and to continue with the Aleve. They also told me that when they have pediatric arthritis patients present with TMJ, they refer them on to an orthodontist. Well, it just so happens that Munchkin #2 has an orthodontist appointment today because they need to do x-rays and put in her expanders. The rheumatology office told me to discuss the situation with our orthodontist before he does the x-rays.

This kind of stuff makes me nuts. I really wish things were simple with medical stuff.  I remember when my daughter would get a little ache or pain and I'd think, "Ah, it's nothing." Now, I freak and tremble at every little thing. Is it arthritis? Is this a flare coming on?

I have to remind myself that there are so very many kids living with this disease and there are so very many who have it so much worse than my munchkin.

In the meantime, normal teenager stuff goes on like getting rigged out for getting braces in a few months.

Peace.

Rheumatoid Arthritis and Teeth Problems

Well, Munchkin #2 is heading for the dentist again today. You can imagine my surprise/horror at finding out that she has cavities in 4 adult molars, one on each side top and bottom.  Immediately, the hygienist proclaimed that Munchkin #2 is not brushing her teeth.  I know that my munchkins brush their teeth!

I know that both my kids brush and go through the same amount of toothpaste. But why does #2 get a boatload of cavities while the other does not? Is this some weird arthritis related thing?

Here is the first bit I found:
http://voices.yahoo.com/how-rheumatoid-arthritis-affects-oral-health-300316.html

I know that my munchkin has wrist pain. But, since I'm not her I never really know how severe or mild it is.  So, are the back teeth becoming coated with plaque because it hurts her wrists to brush back there? Does it hurt her jaw to brush back there? 

We recently had Munchkin #2 tested for dry eye - all the tests came up negative. She has never complained of problems with her eyes, but I am starting to wonder if she has something going on with salivary glands.

In the meantime, she is using an electric toothbrush, and we'll buy her a 'Waterpick' which she is going to need anyway once she gets her braces on.

I am seeing all kinds of stuff on the internet about periodontal disease triggering RA. I have also seen that wheat/gluten can trigger RA, I have been asked if intense exercise can trigger RA, I have heard that our 'dirty world' can trigger RA, I have heard that meat can trigger RA. It goes on and on and on. As far as I know, we don't know what triggers RA. I suspect (and I'm not a doc or anything!) that there is a genetic predisposition. Immunological issues run on both my side and my husband's side of the family.

The next bit I found:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3280043/ This is a more scholarly look at the issue.

So....it seems to me that yes, more research is needed into the possible link between RA and periodontal disease. What is interesting is that many people (including a few health professionals I know) are not really aware of this.

Peace.
 

Becoming a Scientist

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2013/05/kiera_wilmot_s_chemistry_explosion_is_she_more_like_oliver_sacks_or_dzhokhar.html


I have a passion for science. I have a degree in it, I've taught it some, and I teach my munchkins as much as they will tolerate.

When I read this story, I couldn't believe it. The 'experiment' that this girl does was one that was part of my Chemistry I class my sophomore year of high school.  It was wicked cool.  I will never forget doing that experiment. What we didn't do, however, was cap it. We didn't try to bottle the gas. And, we did it under the supervision of our chemistry teacher with a lengthy lab write-up due at the end.

No, I don't know the full story with this particular student in the Slate article. But, what I DO know is that kids will muck about in a lab if given the chance. Did Ms. Wilmot conduct her experiment in a science lab or tucked away in the back of the girls' bathroom? Was this done with tools/ingredients from home or from a school lab? Lots of questions I hope the authorities involved are considering. Because frankly, the vast majority of teenagers who would think this is an interesting thing to try are NOT criminal types.  They are usually the types who hang out in the library, cram in extra lab time for extra credit because it's fun, and dream about places like MIT or Stanford.

My own budding engineer, Munchkin #1, just completed a home made fountain. The water flows down the little waterfall each time the toilet is flushed. It is made out of a plastic planter, rocks, painters plastic and junk from our garage. Is it crazy? Yes. Did it make a mess all over the bathroom until he got the design right? Yes. Is it wicked cool? Totally. Munchkin #1 dreams of attending MIT.

My budding biologist, Munchkin #2, is very interested in all things slimy, squishy, and having to do with 'guts'. We once bought a squid at the fish counter so she could dissect it because she heard that squids had beaks, and she wanted to see the beak. So, armed with my invertebrate zoology lab manual, a plastic cutting board and a kitchen knife, at grade 2 Munchkin #2 performed her first dissection.  In grade 5, her brother gave her a human anatomy set complete with 'surgical' tools, a book and rubber innards. Munchkin #2 squealed when she opened that birthday present and offered her brother the "first surgery" since he made it all possible. Weird? Yes. But, my daughter is still thinking about becoming a doctor which is totally awesome.

As a little kid, I watched an episode of CHIPS on TV. In one episode, a bottle bleach mixed with a bottle of soda pop creating a chlorine gas mess. I can't tell you how much I wanted to try experimenting with that as a kid. I did know kids who tried stuff like this. I would, however, go and probe at dead fish out on the beach instead. I'm still fascinated by aquatic creatures; must be why I got a degree in it!

If you are interested, there is a petition on change.org that is 'working' to help out Ms. Wilmot:
http://www.change.org/petitions/state-attorney-jerry-hill-drop-charges-against-kiera-wilmot 

The world may seem to be going nuts around us, but that doesn't give us the right to go crazy with it. It means that we have the obligation to see that sanity is maintained or in some cases restored.

Here's to science for peaceful purposes!

Peace.

 

Can we please have a little gun control?

Yes, I am a liberal blogger.  Either be ok with that or don't read this blog.

Just saw the news out of Houston.

http://www.khou.com/news/local/Shots-reportedly-fired-at-Bush-Intercontinental-Airport-205835961.html

Some man walked into Terminal B with an AR-15 rifle. He fired a few shots with it then shot himself with a pistol.  I've been to Terminal B.  I've been to Terminal B with my children.

I have no issue with people owning weapons. A number of men in my family have served my country in the US military and own firearms.  I have on more than one occasion enjoyed eating ground venison mixed with ground wild hog as burgers (yummy) thanks to friends who hunt.  My Munchkin #2 owns a bow (the kind you shoot, not the hair kind) and she LOVES shooting arrows into hay bales. I have owned a number of large dive knives over the years.

What I have issue with is why on earth does the average citizen need to own something like an AR-15 rifle?  Here's a link from Cabela's on-line catalogue for one:

 http://www.cabelas.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=1143590 

Reading the comments from the catalogue for this rifle, the thing shoots easily 250 rounds (that's bullets) in 30 minutes. You can get a 30 round magazine (that's 30 bullets without needing to reload) for it. While I appreciate wanting to have protection from a home intruder and eating the occasional legally obtained wild critter, WHY on earth would any civilian need a gun that shoots 30 bullets without needing to reload?  I understand that some folks do shooting competitions (ie sport) etc....but again WHY on earth would the average civilian need a gun that shoots 30 bullets without needing a reload?

I am so glad that the report out of Houston is not worse than it is. Imagine the horror this guy with the AR-15 could have done had he been an accurate shot and felt like being evil.

Gun control. Now.

Peace.

(Post edit:  My father told me that an AR-15 can fire more like 250 rounds in 30 seconds but you have to change the magazines very quickly.)

 

Airlines' Various Fees and services - from Cattle Class to First Class

http://www.abc17news.com/news/frontier-adds-fees-for-carryon-bags-and-sodas/-/18421100/19973944/-/gv12xr/-/index.html

I am a very frequent traveler. I've had to add pages to my passport. Even though I am no longer an 'ex-pat', I still will be buying a number of plane tickets every year. The United States is a big place, and I would rather fly than drive 24 - 30+ hours across it.  I'm even hoping to buy a basic vehicle to keep at my farm so I don't have to drive between my primary residence and the farm across the country.

I was shocked to hear on the news this morning that Frontier Airlines is adding fees for a very basic beverage like coffee and fees for carry-on bags that go in the overhead. Really? Really?

I have flown Southwest Airlines many many many times. I must admit that it has been a number of years since I have flown them, but I never had a bad experience flying them. It was low cost but comfortable for short hops. However, it felt tiresome for longer runs (like Dallas to Las Vegas to change planes and on to Salt Lake City).  But, we made that run from Dallas to Utah because we had enough airtime with Southwest that we flew the whole family for free [this was about 10 years ago]. It was worth it to fly what I call 'cattle class' to get the free flights. Yes, 'cattle class'.  We even moo as we board the plane.

Now, to Frontier.  I have flown them once.  I flew with both my kids in and out of Denver for a family wedding. The tickets were a reasonable price compared to others.  The plane itself felt very no frills. But, it felt like cattle class to the extreme. Yes, it was lower priced, but if they are going to start charging for simple things like carry-ons and coffee they may not be low priced enough. Now, the news story I linked to above says that if you buy your ticket via the Frontier website you won't have to pay the baggage fees. So.....if someone buys tickets via some travel website, will they be informed of the extra baggage fees in an easy to understand manner or will they have to read through page after page of legal-eeze?  I'm thinking so much for customer service.

I have also had the extreme pleasure of flying first class on Lufthansa in and out of Frankfurt. It was awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome.  We arrived at our destination rested and relaxed. Awesome.

So...why am I talking about 'cattle class' and first class in the same post? Because I have flown coach class with a number of carriers and had drastically different experiences.

Many years ago, I flew from an airport in East Texas by myself with a infant to an airport very close to the Canadian/US border. I paid for two seats.  I was traveling with my backpack, a small diaper bag, a baby carrier and a stroller. I flew American Airlines. I knew that part of my journey would require that I descend stairs from the airport to access the tarmac in order to climb another set of stairs to board the plane. I informed American when I purchased the tickets that I would need assistance at this point in the journey. When I went to board, no help came. I couldn't figure out how to find an elevator. Other passengers ended up helping me. On the return journey, I forgot to pick up my 'bistro meal' bag as I boarded the plane. I was a breast feeding mom and this was going to be a roughly four hour flight. I needed food even yucky tasting food! I was informed that since I forgot to pick up my bag, there wasn't anything anyone could do about it.  Even IF American has changed their policies and/or this was just a 'blip', for me it was a big deal. I will never willingly choose American again.

I've had great experiences flying coach with other airlines. Delta is one of my favorites. I have always had excellent service. If U.S. based airlines want to keep their customers, they need to look at their service.

 Again, paying extra for a not exactly wonderful cup of coffee?  Is Frontier slipping from cattle class to hog hauler? We'll wait and see.

Peace.

Update on Lidocaine for the Methotrexate Injection, and a rant

Well, we tried the 4% lidocaine for Munchkin #2's methotrexate injection.  It sort of helped. Munchkin #2 feels that I didn't use enough of the creme, however. The rheumatologist's office told us to use a pea sized amount which I tried to do.  My munchkin felt that it, "Wasn't a big enough pea." So...we'll see how it goes next week.  In the meantime, it did help a bit. It was better than nothing.

It is so very frustrating watching this disease's effect on my kid.  Yesterday, she went to her private lesson for her current sport of choice. She does some private lessons so she can work out at her own pace depending on how her joints are feeling that day. I spoke with her coach and he told me that he really would love to have my kid on his 'top' competitive team. Munchkin #2 wants that, bad. But, I had to share my concern that, "Ok. We put her on the team, the arthritis kicks in and then where will the team be? And...I'll be out the $2000 bucks it took to get the uniforms, pay the competition fees etc..."  He admitted to me that he did think I was making the right choice in saying that, no this year lets try a non-competitive approach to the sport and see how things go. If the joints can take it, than we can up the ante next year.  He also shared with me how Munchkin #2 does have problems with her wrists and knees but tries to 'ignore' it.  So frustrating that my very competitive sport loving kid is held back by something she has little control over. And, I never ever want to say 'no' to a sport she wants to work at. Feeling like a bad mom and a good mom at the same time.

Last night, after her 30 minute private lesson, her right knee was puffy and sore. We needed to make a run to Target, and she was limping a bit as we walked through the store and the parking lot. Frustrating.

When I checked on her this morning before she was up, I noticed her alarm clock's batteries were flat. So....being Mom, I woke her up.  I gave her my hand so she could grab hold and pull herself up to a sitting position in bed to help her 'wake up'. She didn't have enough strength in her hands to do it with one hand. She needed both, and she told me, "Mom, you have to pull. I'm not strong enough in the morning." Frustrating.

All this is certainly nothing to shed tears over. It just is very frustrating.

I have to remind myself sometimes that she is brilliant (she's a straight A student), she's got a kind heart, and that she is still a great kid. I have to work at keeping my perspective. We have a beautiful safe place to live (two in fact), we have a wonderful loving extended family, we have great friends, and I know that God is always with me and my munchkins.  AND my son also totally rocks. I love my kids.  I know I am blessed and my family is blessed. Too many blessings to count.

I can't wait for summer. Mornings drinking coffee on the back deck in the woods, hanging out with my kids at various lakes, roaming the woods, picking and snarfing blackberries and raspberries, and just plain old getting to spend quiet time with my family - husband included.

At least the methotrexate works the vast majority of the time.

Peace.

Painful Methotrexate Injections and 4% Lidocaine Creme

Well.....

This is NOT medical advice. This is just me talking about what we are experiencing. Only get medical advice from your doctor NOT from a random blog.

Munchkin #2 has decided that when I give her the weekly methotrexate injection for her rheumatoid arthritis that it hurts.  She gets 10mg per week which comes out (at least for us) to .4ml per injection. I have to inject it slowly or it just all ooshes back out the little hole made by the needle.

So...via the grapevine I heard about 4% lidocaine creme. If you have ever bought 'blue' colored aloe vera after sun (ie for when you are sunburned) gel, than you likely have used lidocaine. The sun burn gels typically will contain around 0.5% lidocaine. So....you can imagine the numbing effect 4% might have. We now have from the rheumatologist a prescription for 4% lidocaine creme.

The idea is we put a pea sized amount of the creme over the injection site prior to injection. We then cover the spot with this clear plastic bandage thing while the lidocaine soaks in/takes affect or whatever it does to numb up the spot.  I was a little more than surprised when the rheumatologist's office told us that we could just wrap the stop with clear plastic wrap (think covering a potato salad) if we couldn't find the little clear plastic special bandages. Say what?  So does that mean my kid is going to stay crisp and fresh like fruit salad? Weird...

At any rate...we have not tried it yet. I'll post about it once we do. I just hope it helps. What is extra cool about this for us is that if the lidocaine helps, Munchkin #2 can use it for when she has blood work done as well. Sweet......

And,  I just had to throw in this picture of Max Kitty napping on my bed. He looks so peaceful; I even think he is smiling.

Peace.




 

Feeling blue? Here are some happy warm fuzzies

http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/efc/efc_otter/otter_cam.aspx  Live cam of sea otters at Monterey Bay Aquarium

http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/efc/efc_opensea/open_sea_cam.aspx  Live cam of a big tank at the same aquarium. I personally love the 'swim bys' of the sharks

My kitty, Max, is currently snuggled in on my bed with about 4 layers of blankets. I think he's enjoying our overcast weather since he went back to bed!

Jesse Dog is currently sprawled across the floor of my family room watching morning junk TV.

Munchkin #2's hamster, Sunny, has been hard at work. She is a Roborovski hamster.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roborovski_hamster  Very cute. So cute it hurts. She's so tiny and fast, she is almost impossible for me to photograph. She has a funny habit of after she is fed she stashes food from her food dish in her food storage tube (she has a system of clear plastic tubes to run around in). After making 3 stashes, she runs in her wheel. She stops running in the wheel, checks her food dish, "Nope, nothing new" and goes back to running. She'll repeat this several times.  We think that Sunny thinks she is 'searching' for more food!

Peace.

Garbage in my brain

There is a link at the bottom to an article I read in the Telegraph.  With all of the horror in Boston, this article was the first I had heard about this news out of China.  With all of the messy words coming out of NK these days, I wonder 'why' China has released this 'white paper'.  Are they saying that they will deal with NK? Are they saying that they will stand on the side of NK?  I find it all very curious.  This is the kind of garbage that knocks around my 'ol brain.

On a lighter note.....

I had a very nice visit today with a friend who is originally from India. I really enjoyed a nice cup of chai at her kitchen table along with a cuddle from her one year old daughter. I was deeply honored to be awarded the official title of 'Auntie' by her four year old. It was a lovely afternoon. 

Peace.


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/9998111/China-lays-bare-its-military-might-with-an-attack-on-US-ambition.html

Smell the Wildflowers

Did a bit of traveling this weekend to an area loaded with wildflowers. For the first time in six years, I got to sit amongst my favorite wildflowers for the first time in six years.  It was a very happy moment for me.

Like so many other people on the planet, I use 'social media'. Most of the time we were overseas doing the ex-pat thing, I would look at friends'/family's photos via social media taken in the middle of all those wildflowers.  My last year living overseas, those colorful pics would send me into deep homesickness complete with tears.  It was kind of a wake-up call that it was time to head for home.

So now.....I'm finding myself on the flip side.  I recently posted some of my own family pics with us drowning in wildflowers via social media.  And...I have a good friend back in the Middle East who is really homesick for those fragrant little flowers. She has seen my photos on the social media.  Because of my friend, part of me didn't want to post those pictures because I didn't want her to think I was going, "Nah, nah, nah! Look where I am!"  But, I spoke with her via Skype so it was all ok. But still....I really stopped and thought about it.

Now, I'm sitting here listening to the news via my iPad.  I am more than horrified by the news I'm hearing out of Boston. I have family who live in that area. Horrid, horrid, horrid.  All my family are ok, a close friend/best friend of my cousin's who lives there, is ok.  My social media is alive with notes of  'We're home. We're ok.'  I just can't fathom the depth of depravity that would cause somebody to do something as horrific as to hurt other human beings.


My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Boston and to all those affected by this. 

For those of you who wonder where my 'peace' comes from...for me it has always been a way to wish peace for all I have contact with. But yes, it does have roots in my faith.  This has its roots in the Book of Numbers which is shared by both people who are Jewish and Christian. My dear girlfriends who are Muslim and I both believe we all pray to the same God.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace."

Peace.

On-line Kid (Munchkin) Safety - NO KIDS ALLOWED!!!!!

Oh, wow. 

Where do I even begin? Let's begin with this....if you are a kid stop reading this. NOW!

If you do want to read this and are a kid, go get a parent/guardian and have them read it with you.

I have been listening to buzz from some moms about 'on-line' dangers.  "Don't let your kids view this or that site", "You need to use internet blockers",  blah, blah, blah.  I think it's not what they are viewing, it's what are they posting?  Do I worry about everything out here on the internet and my kids' access to it?  Of course I do.  But, I think kids are putting themselves in potentially boiling hot water.

I've seen some of what other kids (not mine, but I do monitor my kids) out there post on-line via social networking.  They use a lot of nasty language thinking that it is oh so funny.  What they don't realize is that so very many people, the wrong people, could end up seeing/reading that stuff.  They are posting videos of themselves with their friends. Again, what they may not realize is one click/copy and repost, and the thing is totally out of their control.  Kids posting this stuff probably don't realize that family/friends/parents of their friends are also seeing the stuff they are posting.

So far, my munchkins have never posted something inappropriate on-line. But, I will be having a conversation with both of them again about the dangers involved with stuff like this.

The other thing that I find disturbing about what I'm seeing other kids posting is their very detailed knowledge about things I consider 'adult content.'  I knew my munchkins were being exposed to some serious stuff at school etc....  I am very thankful that I have been talking with them for a long time now about all kinds of different things that folks a generation older than me would have been horrified to talk with their kids about.  There are middle school aged kids out there talking about rape, intercourse and the kind of activity that got a former president into trouble (involved a blue dress? Remember?) in ways that would make a sailor blush. They are chatting about these things like, "Ha, ha! Funny!"  Well, this isn't funny stuff.  It's serious. What gets posted on-line is potentially out there forever. (Gee, why on earth do I blog? Must need my head examined.)  I see kids carrying their smart phones to school. As an adult, how many times have you been shown pictures, video or whatever on a friend's phone? Guess what....even if your kid doesn't have a smart phone, they are looking at stuff on their friends'.

I've been reading through on-line advice to parents about how to deal with having your kids using the internet and social media. Most of what I'm seeing is pretty sanitized and simplified. "Don't be mean." "If you see on-line bullying, tell a parent."  Etc......  Yes, that is good advice, BUT, as a parent, I can tell you 'don't be mean' is a start, but it's only the very tiny tip of the iceberg. I use stories the kids and I read in the newspaper and news magazines to open up discussions. When I listen with the kids to NPR, we talk about the news we are hearing.   When we see TV show characters making poor choices we talk about it - why are those poor choices? What could go wrong for that character? What could that character do differently? Anything and everything can become an opportunity for learning. When my kids do tell me about bad stuff they are seeing and hearing at school, friends' houses etc, I don't berate my kids or jump to conclusions that my kids are making poor choices. I do my best to listen and then ask, "How did/do you feel about that?"  I do my best to let them lead the discussion.  My kids don't listen to me unless I've first listened to them.  And, I know that what my kids do tell me about is only a tiny little fraction of what they are being exposed to.

So....even if you are the kind of parent that monitors the junk your kids watch on TV and the movies, you are careful about the magazines that come into your home, and you block inappropriate websites in your home, guess what?  They are still being exposed to bad stuff simply by being a kid. I can't shut my kids out of the world, but I can at least do my best to prepare them for it. I only hope my best is good enough.

Peace.

 

The Mommy Track

I recently joined a women's bible study group. I am so loving it. We spend way more time just talking/sharing, however, then we do actually reading/studying the bible.  But that's ok. It feels like a very safe healing kind of space to be there.

I am amazed at how many women here grapple with the "What should I do with my life" question. For instance, take a stay home mom. She feels guilty that she's staying at home and not out working/earning $/using her education.  Then take a working mom; she feels guilty/bad about not staying home.  Why do we do this to ourselves in this country?

For me...I want to go back to 'paid' employment for two reasons: I am bored during the day while the munchkins are at school, and I really want to be putting more money into college savings accounts (I want to contribute financially because I can). 

I feel like women here are under this deep cultural pressure to 'be perfect.' The model to fit is the perfectly fit woman who can wear super high heels all day, has a rocking awesome career, keeps the house totally perfect looking all the time, has all the time in the world for the kids, and manages to do extra things like making snacks for ball games etc..  What the %$#& ? Why do we do this to ourselves? 

I don't know any living breathing woman on any continent who fits this model.

My typical day: up around 6am, get munchkins to school. Drink coffee, eat breakfast. Read the news/blog. Walk the dog/water garden/house chores. Grocery shopping/run errands. If out and about, stop at drive through fast food place for obscenely large unsweet iced tea because I CAN (totally guilty pleasure for me).  Read book while waiting for munchkins. Collect munchkins from school/bus stop. Begin afternoon of munchkin activities (sports, kid friends, homework help etc....).  Cook dinner. Husband arrives. Eat dinner. Watch junk on TV. Go to bed.

My shoes of choice? Jambu brand (because they hold my orthotics) or for 'styling' my Marc Jacobs flats that look like mice with little spikes on them. Very flat, very me. My 'mouse shoes' are the only designer anything I own. My husband gave them to me after I'd been drooling over them at the Marc Jacobs brand store for like two years.

My house has NEVER looked perfect.  A good friend of mine used to arrange furniture etc for photo shoots for a home/garden magazine in South Africa.  She told me that those big fancy houses in the magazine never look like what is in the photos.  They are usually strewn with socks, toys, dirty dishes just like my house!

I walk my dog for fitness. Fitness for the dog.

I do make a lot of time for my kids which is why I don't work full-time. Something had to give somewhere.

Making snacks? Forget that. I buy them. I'm so loving being back in the land of pre-packaged snack size everything.  Well, except for Nutella.  I have not seen that in snack sizes yet which is a very good thing since that stuff is way too yummy to be legal. (My kids call it 'crack').

Enjoy life. Chill out. Love on your family. (I frequently need to be reminded to actually do this stuff. Well, I do love on my family. That's easy.)

Peace.