If you are a kid, stop reading this. Now.
I just read this story on ABC News:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-cheerleader-denies-felony-charge-lesbian-relationship/story?id=19225512
What I find especially interesting about this story is not the fact this is about two kids involved in a same gender relationship, but that teenagers who are 18 can get into so much trouble for dating a younger teenager. I hear moms in my neighborhood/community talk about this issue all the time.
Personally, I think the maturity gap between an 18 year old and a 14 year old is rather wide in most cases. Do I think the older girl involved in this story deserved to be sent to an alternative school? I don't know. But, as a parent I find the possibility that an 18 year old kid could get into legal trouble dating a 16 or 17 year old kid frightening. If an 18 year old gets into trouble because of a consensual relationship with a fellow high school student who is younger than 18, then that 18 year old could be labeled as a sexual offender with their name and address published for the whole world to see. These kids become, I believe, convicted felons. Adults who are sexual predators should be held accountable for their vile actions by the legal system. I just wonder if as a society we are going a step too far in dealing with our teenagers. I have no idea 'how far' a relationship between kids has to go before it could result in legal troubles. Do you? Do most parents? Or are we just guessing?
So, the question is, in my mind, how do we deal with these kinds of legal issues as a society? Do we forbid our kids to date? In many cultures dating is not allowed along with massive and sometimes dangerous repercussions for kids who get caught dating (really frightening). Do we just say, oh who cares. Let an 18 year old have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with a 14 year old? I do think that there is likely too wide a maturity gap between a 14 year old and an 18 year old to be in a 'relationship'. At the same time, how can we handle these types of things appropriately within our legal system? And, as is the case sometimes, how should it be handled if a younger child is attacked by an older child within the same family? Mental health services, felony conviction? I just don't know.
I had a very serious talk with my munchkins about this. Because part of this discussion, I feel, needs to be how we talk with our kids about sex. There are so many grey areas - this is all not just about the basic actions that could cause a pregnancy. There are just so very many ways kids can and do experiment. So what's a parent to do? How do we best protect our kids? Well, I believe the first thing you have to do is talk about it. You have to talk about ALL of it. We need to wake-up and realize that these grey areas are out there and that if we don't talk about them with our children they may think, 'Hey, this is ok for me to try this because it is not actually sex (according to whatever definition they think is associated with the word 'sex')'. If we don't educate our own children, then who will?
I am not a lawyer. I don't know diddly squat about some aspects of our legal system, but I do know that some things scare me as a parent. And this is one of them.
Peace.
I just read this story on ABC News:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-cheerleader-denies-felony-charge-lesbian-relationship/story?id=19225512
What I find especially interesting about this story is not the fact this is about two kids involved in a same gender relationship, but that teenagers who are 18 can get into so much trouble for dating a younger teenager. I hear moms in my neighborhood/community talk about this issue all the time.
Personally, I think the maturity gap between an 18 year old and a 14 year old is rather wide in most cases. Do I think the older girl involved in this story deserved to be sent to an alternative school? I don't know. But, as a parent I find the possibility that an 18 year old kid could get into legal trouble dating a 16 or 17 year old kid frightening. If an 18 year old gets into trouble because of a consensual relationship with a fellow high school student who is younger than 18, then that 18 year old could be labeled as a sexual offender with their name and address published for the whole world to see. These kids become, I believe, convicted felons. Adults who are sexual predators should be held accountable for their vile actions by the legal system. I just wonder if as a society we are going a step too far in dealing with our teenagers. I have no idea 'how far' a relationship between kids has to go before it could result in legal troubles. Do you? Do most parents? Or are we just guessing?
So, the question is, in my mind, how do we deal with these kinds of legal issues as a society? Do we forbid our kids to date? In many cultures dating is not allowed along with massive and sometimes dangerous repercussions for kids who get caught dating (really frightening). Do we just say, oh who cares. Let an 18 year old have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with a 14 year old? I do think that there is likely too wide a maturity gap between a 14 year old and an 18 year old to be in a 'relationship'. At the same time, how can we handle these types of things appropriately within our legal system? And, as is the case sometimes, how should it be handled if a younger child is attacked by an older child within the same family? Mental health services, felony conviction? I just don't know.
I had a very serious talk with my munchkins about this. Because part of this discussion, I feel, needs to be how we talk with our kids about sex. There are so many grey areas - this is all not just about the basic actions that could cause a pregnancy. There are just so very many ways kids can and do experiment. So what's a parent to do? How do we best protect our kids? Well, I believe the first thing you have to do is talk about it. You have to talk about ALL of it. We need to wake-up and realize that these grey areas are out there and that if we don't talk about them with our children they may think, 'Hey, this is ok for me to try this because it is not actually sex (according to whatever definition they think is associated with the word 'sex')'. If we don't educate our own children, then who will?
I am not a lawyer. I don't know diddly squat about some aspects of our legal system, but I do know that some things scare me as a parent. And this is one of them.
Peace.
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Be peaceful and respectful.