Ok. Really. Let me just say one thing first - CULTURE!!!
When we were living in the Middle East - Dubai specifically, we lived for a number of years on the palm tree shaped island of Palm Jumeriah. I loved to lay on the beach or go for a quick snorkel. I would see women on the beach totally covered up - all in black. I would see women who wore 'burkinis' - all covered up but hands, face and feet showing. And, I would see women in bikinis. The bikinis ranged from barely covering to mostly covering showing some lower back and belly. I almost never ever saw a one piece bathing suit on that beach.
The only times I ever saw one piece suits they were on American women. I did see lots of women who were 'plus sizes' like US 16+ wearing bikinis. That's right. 16+ in bikinis.
Feeling fabulously liberated by this, I bought a stack of bikinis. Frankly, in high heat they are more comfortable. I own two Speedo brand bikinis to wear under my 'skins' for when I snorkel. I like a bikini over a one piece for loads of reasons.
Now that I am back in the States, the whole bikini thing is back in debate. My daughter, a big bikini lover, is wearing her old tank-ini suit thing because she has heard other girls' mothers complain about letting girls wear bikinis. Really? I am rather frustrated [insert grumble grumble] that some other mothers have made my daughter concerned about her body. My daughter who spent 6 years in the Middle East and has only been in the States a few months. [grumble]
It is all about culture folks. Some places I have traveled, the women go topless on the beach. Other places, the women dress totally in black including covering the face. Do the women on the topless beaches get harassed by men? Likely not - the men are used to it. I have seen men stare at women on multiple continents no matter what the women were wearing. It is all about how the MEN are raised. It is all about cultural context.
The only time I have ever 'been seriously approached' by a man it was when I was still working as a marine biologist. I was in the United States. I had just trailered a 21ft boat by myself with a brand new diesel 4X4 standard transmission truck and was proceeding to offload all kinds of surveying equipment from the boat. Every single man on that dock stopped and stared at me. One man came up to me and very politely asked, "Ma'am, are you married?" I told him that I was. He said, "Ok. Thanks. I just had to ask." Why did every man stop and stare at me? I think it was because I was different. How many girls like being out on a boat all day AND know how to drive it, trailer it and take care of it? Probably not that many. I was wearing, at the time, longish very ugly men's cargo shorts (they didn't make them for women back then), a very baggy ugly dirty t-shirt, and a men's ball cap with a fish hook on the brim, and bulky sunglasses around my neck with a very dirty pair of Sperry deckshoes/topsiders to round off my oh so sexy look. [insert sarcasm]. Doing water quality studies and surveying all day I was not exactly clean and tidy. I smelled horrid and looked worse. My father used to call me a 'muck scientist' since I was always covered in muck. Yet, I was appealing to those men on the dock. Appealing enough that one of them would come ask me if I was married!
What any person wears projects messages to the world. Those messages can change based on the cultural context in which those 'messages' are being viewed. Snorkeling on the UAE/Omani border near Musandam once, I was helping my husband put together our inflatable kayak at our vehicle. I was completely covered wearing dive 'skins' (a lycra suit thing - very comfortable, keeps me from burning when I'm out for hours). I am a slightly chunky forty something-ish mom now. My being out there like that nearly caused two traffic accidents because local men kept slowing down to look at me. My husband actually made me get in the car to wait until he put the kayak together. I wasn't breaking any laws, and I was with my husband. The local men were not used to seeing a woman dressed like I was and doing what I was doing. My husband thought it was because I kept bending over working on the kayak. So I tried squatting down rather than bending at the waist. It didn't help the situation. Yet, I was totally covered up! Cultural context folks. No one would have given me a second look in Belize except to maybe think, "Wow. Cool, a pontoon kayak for two people." And in the States? Ditto about the kayak, and no one would care except to think, "Sheesh, she needs to lose weight." Even though America is generally an over-weight kind of place, we are very tough on how women look in this culture.
So, back to the bikini question. I am allowing my daughter to wear a bikini any time she wants here in the United States. My rule is that it must be comfortable and stay on her body if she is sliding/body surfing/snorkeling or whatever. And, I'm going to go out an see if I can find a new one for me since my favorite one is wearing out. And, I'll be looking for it in a size 14 or 16 U.S. As long as a woman isn't breaking any laws, she should be able to wear whatever she wants. Ditto for men. Why don't we try raising our boys to respect women and a woman's right to choose and a woman's right to express herself?
Peace.
Post script....I bought a fab new bikini at JCPenney. Very happy with it! Thanks local store for stocking lots to choose from!
When we were living in the Middle East - Dubai specifically, we lived for a number of years on the palm tree shaped island of Palm Jumeriah. I loved to lay on the beach or go for a quick snorkel. I would see women on the beach totally covered up - all in black. I would see women who wore 'burkinis' - all covered up but hands, face and feet showing. And, I would see women in bikinis. The bikinis ranged from barely covering to mostly covering showing some lower back and belly. I almost never ever saw a one piece bathing suit on that beach.
The only times I ever saw one piece suits they were on American women. I did see lots of women who were 'plus sizes' like US 16+ wearing bikinis. That's right. 16+ in bikinis.
Feeling fabulously liberated by this, I bought a stack of bikinis. Frankly, in high heat they are more comfortable. I own two Speedo brand bikinis to wear under my 'skins' for when I snorkel. I like a bikini over a one piece for loads of reasons.
Now that I am back in the States, the whole bikini thing is back in debate. My daughter, a big bikini lover, is wearing her old tank-ini suit thing because she has heard other girls' mothers complain about letting girls wear bikinis. Really? I am rather frustrated [insert grumble grumble] that some other mothers have made my daughter concerned about her body. My daughter who spent 6 years in the Middle East and has only been in the States a few months. [grumble]
It is all about culture folks. Some places I have traveled, the women go topless on the beach. Other places, the women dress totally in black including covering the face. Do the women on the topless beaches get harassed by men? Likely not - the men are used to it. I have seen men stare at women on multiple continents no matter what the women were wearing. It is all about how the MEN are raised. It is all about cultural context.
The only time I have ever 'been seriously approached' by a man it was when I was still working as a marine biologist. I was in the United States. I had just trailered a 21ft boat by myself with a brand new diesel 4X4 standard transmission truck and was proceeding to offload all kinds of surveying equipment from the boat. Every single man on that dock stopped and stared at me. One man came up to me and very politely asked, "Ma'am, are you married?" I told him that I was. He said, "Ok. Thanks. I just had to ask." Why did every man stop and stare at me? I think it was because I was different. How many girls like being out on a boat all day AND know how to drive it, trailer it and take care of it? Probably not that many. I was wearing, at the time, longish very ugly men's cargo shorts (they didn't make them for women back then), a very baggy ugly dirty t-shirt, and a men's ball cap with a fish hook on the brim, and bulky sunglasses around my neck with a very dirty pair of Sperry deckshoes/topsiders to round off my oh so sexy look. [insert sarcasm]. Doing water quality studies and surveying all day I was not exactly clean and tidy. I smelled horrid and looked worse. My father used to call me a 'muck scientist' since I was always covered in muck. Yet, I was appealing to those men on the dock. Appealing enough that one of them would come ask me if I was married!
What any person wears projects messages to the world. Those messages can change based on the cultural context in which those 'messages' are being viewed. Snorkeling on the UAE/Omani border near Musandam once, I was helping my husband put together our inflatable kayak at our vehicle. I was completely covered wearing dive 'skins' (a lycra suit thing - very comfortable, keeps me from burning when I'm out for hours). I am a slightly chunky forty something-ish mom now. My being out there like that nearly caused two traffic accidents because local men kept slowing down to look at me. My husband actually made me get in the car to wait until he put the kayak together. I wasn't breaking any laws, and I was with my husband. The local men were not used to seeing a woman dressed like I was and doing what I was doing. My husband thought it was because I kept bending over working on the kayak. So I tried squatting down rather than bending at the waist. It didn't help the situation. Yet, I was totally covered up! Cultural context folks. No one would have given me a second look in Belize except to maybe think, "Wow. Cool, a pontoon kayak for two people." And in the States? Ditto about the kayak, and no one would care except to think, "Sheesh, she needs to lose weight." Even though America is generally an over-weight kind of place, we are very tough on how women look in this culture.
So, back to the bikini question. I am allowing my daughter to wear a bikini any time she wants here in the United States. My rule is that it must be comfortable and stay on her body if she is sliding/body surfing/snorkeling or whatever. And, I'm going to go out an see if I can find a new one for me since my favorite one is wearing out. And, I'll be looking for it in a size 14 or 16 U.S. As long as a woman isn't breaking any laws, she should be able to wear whatever she wants. Ditto for men. Why don't we try raising our boys to respect women and a woman's right to choose and a woman's right to express herself?
Peace.
Post script....I bought a fab new bikini at JCPenney. Very happy with it! Thanks local store for stocking lots to choose from!
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Be peaceful and respectful.