A blog about what daily life was really like in the Middle East and the daily ramblings of an ex-pat mum. That's how I started the blog. We are now home, so I'm just going to continue with life here. I am a deeply committed Christian. I love to teach about and share my faith so you'll see some of that on the blog as well. Got a comment? Please feel to comment at the end of a post. May our Creator's peace be upon you.







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Monday, January 27, 2014

It's not a girl thing!!!!!!!!

Ok, I seriously need to blow off some steam.

I am so seriously frustrated listening to folks 'around our area' talk about how 'girls should dress' and how 'girls should behave' so as not to attract unwanted attention from boys. Really? Seriously? Ok, let me elaborate.  I'm going to list out the comments I have heard that really make me squirm then give you my response.  These 'responses' from me I sometimes blurt out to people's faces, other times I have really held my tongue. I always try to be respectful of others opinions, culture and feelings.  I do, however, get seriously hot under the collar when others feel the need to foist their bits on me and my kids. With that said, read on but you've been warned.

#1 Girls shouldn't wear things with words or bling bling on their backsides. It's going to make the boys stare at their backsides.

I find this really something especially since I see so many moms wearing Miss Me brand jeans around here (ie bling all over the booty). I would ask, "Well, what does the word read? Do those athletic shorts read 'Hot' or 'Bootyliscious' or whatever, or do they read 'Florida' or 'New York' or something random and innocuous?"  And.....have you taught your son that he should never objectify girls?

#2 Those shorts that girl is wearing are too short. Those are going to make boys want to do bad things to her.

I ask, "Are her butt cheeks hanging out? Or are those shorts just really short?" There is a huge difference in my mind. Is she at the beach or walking to the pool or is she going to the shopping mall with a group of friends dressed like that? There is a time and a place for most clothing. And......have you taught your son that he should never objectify girls?

#3  Those high school girl cheerleader/girl drill team/band flag corps girls' uniforms are too sexy.

I seriously think that this is the most offensive to me. I pretty much NEVER hear anything about how tight football pants are. I NEVER hear anything about how football boys (well, male jocks in general) are always shifting around their 'private parts protection' in public. I've never heard comments like the above about female or males ballet dancers. And....have you taught your son that he should never objectify girls? And.....come to think of it.....what would make a mom say the above comment about high school girls? Are their husbands' eyes wandering? If that's the case....gross....wrong.  Were those men ever taught not to objectify girls?


People are 'cultured' to think some things are acceptable and some things are not. In Ethiopia, it was totally normal when I was there years ago to see two grown men who were close friends (not lovers) walking hand in hand.  But here in the States, folks would assume they were a couple. There are places where women go topless on the beaches - no big deal. If any woman went topless on a beach here, she's likely be arrested, or spoken badly about by other women at the very least. The beaches were I grew up in the States would arrest girls for wearing thong bikinis (ie shows a few more inches of butt cheek then a regular bikini or shows all the butt cheeks).  Other places, thong bikinis are no big deal. 

Having lived in Dubai, I've seen women fully covered in black stared at just as much as women who were in short skirts and high heels. It is all about what you are 'cultured' with growing up.

So how about this....can we just all please to teach our sons and our daughters not to objectify the opposite sex? Can we please teach our children to respect each other?

Thanks for the vent.

Peace.

And, please pardon my typos. I'm tired.

One year as a former ex-pat


I'm posting this photo of me snowboarding to show you just what a change my life is now from a year ago. Dramatically different life.

Now that I'm 'home' (whatever that means at this point), I find that I seriously miss international travel. I miss the excitement of it. I miss meeting so many different people. I miss the cultural encounters. Life here at 'home' seems so quiet and well, boring.

Unlike while we were living as ex-pats, money for travel is harder to come by. We are hoping to go visit family who live across the country this Spring, but the plane tickets are over $400 per person. That gets pricey when we have to buy four of them.

I still find that I am drawn to the news coming out of the 'Middle East'. I am so deeply saddened by the level of conflict. I think of my Lebanese girlfriends, fellow coffee drinking moms, and how we would sit around the lobby of the private school our children attended talking about everything and anything. When I see the news coming out of Lebanon about bombings and death, for me these news stories are not about random foreign countries. These are stories that bring up memories of listening to moms chat happily about family births, holiday breaks, paying for university, and great places to drink coffee of course. I don't read these news stories and just go, "Sad." I picture how these stories are affecting my friends. It can be a deeply painful experience. I can't imagine what my friends' families are going through.

It is the same seeing news coming out of Syria. Just before we re-patriated, I had a conversation with the mom of one of Munchkin #2's classmates. This particular mom was Syrian by birth but held a US passport. She was crying because she was unable to get her parents out of Syria.

Now....I am back 'home'.  Today Munchkin #1 is at a school activity, Munchkin #2 is cleaning out her desk and her hamster cages, and the Husband finished organizing our music room. I wanted the music room 'finished' before his side of family comes in a few weeks for a visit. We are planning our spring vacation (we finished the budget for the year) to visit family on the Pacific coast. Life is 'normal'.

There are days that I can't read anything, happy or sad, out of Dubai or anywhere in the vicinity. It's too bitter sweet. I miss our friends there so much, I miss the adventure, and of course I deeply miss our place of prayer there. But, we've built a 'new' life here, and I'm even working again.

I am deeply thankful for our experiences in Dubai. They have changed all of us forever and, I think, for the better.

Peace.