We should be better than this.......

http://www.washingtonpost.com/rweb/top/a-small-slovakian-town-held-a-vote-on-accepting-refugees-97-percent-said-no/2015/09/28/1d29b1c0-6168-11e5-8475-781cc9851652_story.html

Just read this story from the Washington Post on how a small Slovakian town voted not to take in refugees. 

It frustrates me to see folks being turned away. These people are streaming out of their home country in search of a safe place to live.

I get really frustrated when I read about 'Arab' countries not taking in refugees. To be clear, Lebanon, an Arab country, I believe has taken in a million refugees from Syria and Iraq. I know Jordan, another Arab country, has also taken in huge numbers. There are NGO organizations working hard to assist with providing refugee families from both Iraq and Syria with homes, food and education. For example: 
http://frrme.org  This is the Foundation for Relief and Reconciliation in the Middle East. I've had the distinct honor and pleasure of meeting Canon Andrew White. There are MANY people doing MANY good things to help with the refugees streaming out of Syria and Iraq.  But it's not enough.

So back to the question of Arab countries taking in or not taking in refugees. Well.....very opinionated stuff coming.....

What many people may not realize is that a number of Gulf Arab countries provide A LOT of money/benefits to their citizens to keep folks happy and to keep things running smoothly within those countries, in my opinion. Giving this same level of money/benefits to refugees is likely not economically feasable. There is actually high unemployment among young Arab men in a large number of Gulf countries. Check this article out: http://www.cnbc.com/2014/10/15/youth-unemployment-in-rich-middle-east-a-liability-wef.html 
Refugees need to be in places that can actually handle the influx of new people into their populations.  If a large number of refugees move into an area with already high unemployment, what do you think is likely to happen to that country's government? It might not survive the influx. 

Economic powerhouses like the United States and Germany can handle more refugees than other countries because we have highly functioning big money economies.  With hard work on the part of the refugees, they will be able to find work and a safe place to live.  

Am I saying that the United States should take in a million refugees? No, I'm not. But, I do believe that we can do much better.  Fear of outsiders, fear of those who are different from us, marginalization of our fellow humans - these are the things that contribute to the rise of extremists. 

I found a number online that there are 320,000 churches in the United States. http://churchrelevance.com/qa-how-many-us-churches-exist/  If even 100,000 of those churches sponsored one refugee family from somewhere, wow....what a difference that would make. 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pope-calls-on-every-european-parish-to-take-in-one-migrant-family_55ec205ee4b03784e276184e

Wake up folks....and smell the coffee....we should be better than this if we're going to call ourselves Christians. 

Peace. 

What were those senators thinking?????? Voting to allow bullying????

http://www.hrc.org/blog/entry/senate-fails-to-pass-critical-protections-for-lgbt-youth?utm_content=bufferc3635&utm_medium=social&utm_source=plus.google.com&utm_campaign=hrcsocialteam


I just don't understand how so many senators could vote down anti-bullying legislation? 

As a former teacher, I never would have allowed a child to be bullied based on their sexual orientation. Words like 'fag' were totally banned in my classroom. 

Not all teachers are kind. And let's admit it - it's not just kids who bully. Adults can bully as well. How on earth can anyone who cares about kids at all vote against this kind of legislation?  I just don't understand.

Peace. 

Just breathe people - gay marriage decision from SCOTUS

I just read a post from CNN :

http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/18/politics/supreme-court-gay-marriage/index.html

The title of the piece is "Activists prepare for gay marriage decision".  

In the piece, there is talk over concern that folks like pastors could end up in jail for not accepting gay marriage if SCOTUS rules in favor of gay marriage. To me, things like this speak of the fear that some conservative Christians are feeling. This court case is not about marching into religious organizations, and telling them what to believe. What it is about is whether or not a gay couple can walk into a county clerk's office and obtain a marriage license. Who officiates at the wedding and signs the license is not being ruled upon by the Supreme Court. Churches refuse ALL THE TIME to marry people for all kinds of reasons. That will not change if the Court rules in favor of gay marriage. Just breathe people.....

I really deeply believe that there would not be so much fear about the whole gay marriage thing if various church leaders weren't whipping people up into a frenzy. When you preach fear, then folks are going to be fearful. And, fear is easy to sell. Peace and love are a hard sell - Jesus is certainly proof of that. 

Us humans, we fear that which we do not understand. We fear what we don't know about. Ignorance breeds fear like nothing else.  But, I deeply believe that as Americans we are very very good at not letting our ignorance get the better of us. We're really good at staying calm and non-violent when compared to a number of other places around the globe. There's a mentality that I see here in the States that I've never seen anywhere else of 'we're all in this together' (now a few folks from the UK might disagree with me, but I digress....). No matter what is happening, we stay focused in this country on getting through whatever we perceive to be difficult things.  

We have an election in this country, and we don't see violent protests. We accept the decision of the voters and go on with life.  Well, I sincerely hope that with whatever decision is made by the Supreme Court on gay marriage, we as a country can accept peacefully and move on. Do we have to like it? No of course not. Can we continue to find peaceful legal ways to work for changes? Yes, of course. But let's do what we Americans do so well of remembering that we are all in this together. 

Peace. 

The Reading List - Christianity and Leaning to the Left

I get asked occasionally what I read. Well, I read quite a bit. I love to read some fictional books over and over again - particularly ones from my childhood. Elizabeth George Speare's The Witch of Blackbird Pond remains one of my all time favorite stories. Only now, it only takes me a couple of hours to read it.

I decided to start keeping track of what I do read mainly to satisfy my own curiosity of how many books I do actually consume. It turns out, I mainly read non-fictional theology type stuff. I only actually read two new fiction books this last year.

So.....just in case you were wondering.....here's the approximate list of what I've read over the last year, or so. Along with a few thoughts.

Hospice Whispers by Carla Cheatham (great true stories, made me laugh and cry)

A Letter to My Congregation by Ken Wilson (another way of approaching LGBT 

                   rights in the Church)

How We Sleep at Night by Sara Cunningham (a mom's personal story about her gay 

                   son)

“Mom, I’m Gay” by Susan Cottrell (kinda a how-to on how to handle your kid 

                  coming out)

Written in my Own Heart’s Blood by Diana Gabaldon (fiction)

Same-Sex Unions in PreModern Europe by John Boswell (a classic, couldn't 

                  put it down)

Without You, There is No Us by Suki Kim (what it's like to teach at the Pyongyang

                 University of Science and Technology)

Undamned: My Escape from the Old Testament by L.E. Kinzie (a personal 

                 spiritual journey)

The Nazi Officer’s Wife: How one Jewish Woman Survived the

            Holocaust by H. Beer (amazing true story)

Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality by John Boswell (another classic, 

            couldn't put it down)

Torn by Justin Lee (written by a gay Christian and what it's like to be a gay Christian)

The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness (fiction) [MOM - This is the last book in the 

             I said you should read. Totally entertaining stuff without being TOO much

             cotton candy for the brain!]

Killing Jesus by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard ('meh')

Jesus, the Bible and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the

            Church by Jack Rogers (very very well researched and written by a  

            Presbyterian minister)

Women in Late Antiquity: Pagan and Christian Lifestyles by Gillian  

            Clark (a classic, couldn't put it down)

The Book of Mormon: A Biography by Paul C. Gutjahr (respectful and interesting

            read for a non-Mormon)

Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible

            And Why by Bart T. Ehrman (I LOVE Ehrman's work, always thought 

            provoking)

In Search of Paul: How Jesus’s Apostles Opposed Rome’s Empire

            With God’s Kingdom by John Dominic Crossan and Johnathan

            L. Reed (lots of new ways of thinking about Paul's writing in the 

            New Testament, great read)

Lost Christianities: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We

            Never Knew by Bart T. Ehrman (super book, couldn't put it down)

See Me Naked: Stories of Sexual Exile in American Christianity

            By Amy Frykholm (an interesting group of stories)

I buy what I can at Half Price Books, but having the Kindle app on my iPad is seriously dangerous to my budget.

Peace. 

What's the deal with daughters??????? (Social media is nuts)

Ok folks. What's the deal with social media posts about daughters? Recently, I've posted on social media pictures of my kids and awards they've received.  But it never fails, posts about my daughter always get more 'likes' and more positive comments. Really??????? I've noticed this with others' social media feeds as well. The son can do something beyond awesome and will get like 10 'likes'.  The daughter just stands there 'looking cute' and gets like 100 'likes'. What's the deal?

I really think that in our society we tend to brush our sons to a degree under the rug. Yes, women are still not fully equal with men in our society, but why do we reward a 'cute dress' so much more on social media then we do an awesome accomplishment? Do I enjoy reading friends' comments about how pretty my daughter is? Sure, of course I do. But, the chirping of the crickets is deafening when I post some great accomplishment of my son. 

And it's not just me. Another mom I know will post stuff about her son's athletic accomplishments, but the daughter in a dressy dress always gets more 'likes' and comments. What kind of a message do we think we're sending to our kids with this? It's like 'Ooooooo....pretty clothes are so important!!!!' but getting a major award, nah...... Seriously, this is the message!!!!! 

Yes, we all enjoy nice pictures. But, we really need to stop and think about what we are 'liking' on social media. Yes, we're letting a friend or family member know that, "Hey, that's cool!" But, we're also leaving a very real record of what we appear to approve of. When that very real record of approval shows a preference for what's nice looking over substantial achievement, then what does that say about us? 

And on a lighter note..... Max Kitty above just wants to let all the girl kitties out there know, "Hey ladies! It's all for you!" 

Peace. 

Thoughts on Changing Churches

See these fish? I took this picture recently doing some river snorkeling. I'm like that really confused looking fish that's looking into the camera as if to say, "Gee, which way am I supposed to swim?"

I've posted previously that I'm staying in my current church even though I don't feel it really 'fits' my spiritual needs and my family's spiritual needs anymore. Well....that might be changing.

I'm just not comfortable being surrounded by so very many conservative Christians. So let's tease this out, with 'Why'.

I was asked recently to listen to a bit of a book called The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire (basically a sex book written for Christian women). Now, this might be a totally great book, but I couldn't even handle listening to the intro/first chapter. I couldn't get past the whole 'good girl' thing.  In the eyes of a number of Christians I've been around, I'm not a totally 'good girl'.  I never have been, and I never will be. I'm sooooooo not perfect.  How can I get into what might be a really great message when all I'm hearing in my head is, "You are not good enough. You will never be good enough. Screw you. You are never invited to have lunch with us. You are never invited to do anything with us. You so don't fit in with us. Screw you."  Yeah, harsh, but so true. 

But lately, what really gets to me is when I see the 'church face' and then the 'real world face'.  Which means, when someone is one way at church and then a totally different way outside of church. Or, it means, to me at least, when someone just really really seems like they are totally not keeping things real. I sincerely hope that with me, what you see is what you get. I'm not perfect, but I work hard, I'm loyal, and I love God. 
I've had times in life when I've gone to church and came home thinking, "Wow. I love God. I love the church. What a totally awesome morning."  Then, there have been other times when I've gone to church and came home thinking, "Wow. That was not not nice. I'm just feeling so angry and touchy and just plain old pissed off. That was just totally utterly miserable. I feel REALLY far from God now."  When I come home from church feeling just plain old pissed off it usually means that God is pushing me to be elsewhere where I am of greater service to God. And mostly right now, I come home from church feeling just plain old pissed off.
My family visited a new church for us this last week. It was a great experience. Even my kids went, "Wow, the time went by so fast." And when you're talking about a communion service, to my mind that says that there was some good connecting going on for my kids. 
Will we change churches and thus denominations? Only time will tell. But in the meantime, I'll continue to pray, I'll continue to read my Bible, and I'll continue to try to not feel pissed off. 
Peace. 

Swimming with the Fish

Well, we got to sneak on out of the suburbs with the family for a few days.  There's a little stretch of river that's about a 5 hour drive from where we live, but it is so worth driving to! At first, we thought there was going to be ton of rain over the weekend, but then the skies cleared long enough for us to get to go play in the water. 

In this little video I took, you'll see the husband swimming in the background. But what I loved about this video was the inquisitiveness of the fish. They kept coming right on up and looking at the camera. 

So....enjoy the video and hope you are having a happy peaceful day!

Peace. 

May the 4th Be With You! And stuff about kids

Yeah, I will totally admit it. I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I love all of them (well not #3 - yuck! Gore!).  

I've been seeing a bunch of stuff floating around social media lately about how corporal punishment is a good thing. Really? I don't think so.....

Whenever I see stuff like spanking your kids is a good thing, I think we're just perpetuating violence. Let's say I had a 4 year old and I spanked that child (i.e. I hit them) for doing something that upset me. Then that child is at pre-school. Another kid takes their shovel in the sandbox. What's the response. "Hey, you made me mad! So I'm going to hit you." Yup, perpetuating violence. Never a good thing. 

I'll never forget when I was seeing my oldest munchkin (a boy) having behavior issues at pre-school. At first, I thought it was him. I took him to a 'Christian' counselor. The 'Christian' counselor told me that I needed to be spanking him more. Say what? I set boundaries at home. We occasionally did time outs. Spanking? Seriously? Not cool with me. I had scripture thrown at me by the counselor as backup to the idea. We left that counselor and never went back. Instead, I decided to observe from the hallway my son's preschool class. The teacher and the students didn't know I was there. It turns out, the teacher was raising her voice A LOT at that little class. My precious munchkin was terrified of her. Once we got the teacher to not yell at my kid, all the behavior stuff improved. No spanking necessary. Sheesh....

It frightens me to see things that are not nice (like spanking) being upheld by Christianity. I'm Christian. I love Jesus. I need Jesus. But I just don't understand how folks who follow Jesus, clearly not a violent person, can promote violence. I just don't get it. 

Maybe I should just become Jedi. Nah....I still love Jesus.

Peace. 

Serious mom stuff....new kitchen counter tops by Cambria

Ok. 'First world' problem as opposed to being a 'third world' problem. The house we bought when we moved back here to the States has white laminate countertops in the kitchen. While being bright and pretty, they are very hard to keep clean. And, they are literally lowering the value of this house. To me, that is completely mental - white kitchen countertops lowering the value of the house. The market in the area we live in 'demands' stone counter tops. Crazy. While my white laminate makes me crazy, I've seen other laminate that is actually beautiful. But.....no more laminate. We're doing something different.

http://cambriausa.com/en/Designs/photos-and-videos/

The countertops we're having installed are made by Cambria. The pattern we picked is called Langdon. No, the kitchen above is not mine. This picture is off the Cambria website. I'm really excited and so very ready for a change. We're also having a new kitchen sink installed. Again, so very ready. The old sink really was looking gross. Low quality stainless steel in my not so humble opinion is never a good choice. We're putting in a better quality stainless. And, I really liked the Cambria product because it's made here in the States from mostly NorthAmerican mined quartz.  So hopefully, nobody died mining the stuff to make my kitchen counter tops. 

Peace. 

Yup, LGBT rights again

This photo came from the Southern Poverty Law Facebook page. I totally love it.

Everyday my social media feed is loaded with all kinds of stuff. Right now, it's particularly full of LGBT rights postings.  This one above is one of my favorites.

As we approach the day that the US Supreme Court will begin to look at the constitutionality of gay marriage, I'm seeing so very much in the press.  Here's the two stories I read to today that really jumped out at me:
http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-texas-same-sex-marriage-20150422-story.html

and.....
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/05/us/advocates-seek-civil-rights-bill-for-lesbian-gay-bisexual-and-transgender-americans.html?_r=0

So on the one side, you have folks trying to legislate against gay marriage, and on the other side you have folks trying to legislate for gay marriage. In the article from the LA Times, the bill in Texas passed out of committee because of votes along party lines (i.e. Republicans voted for and the Democrats against). This is yet another reason I'm a Democrat. And I'm Christian.

I've never seen anything in the Bible where Jesus avoids those society shuns.  Jesus jumped right on in there with EVERYONE. It makes me so very sad to see so much discriminatory stuff coming from 'Christian' groups. Family Research Council, which I'm sure considers themselves a Christian group, has a page on the Southern Poverty Law's webpage under 'extremist files'.

I'm Christian AND I support LGBT rights.

Peace. 

Raccoons

From YouTube

Ok. I must be out of my mind. I've been approached about becoming a raccoon rehabber. What? Rehabilitate coons? Does that mean teaching these masked bandits not to steal pet food, not to dig in garbage cans and to stay away from humans? No, not that kind of rehabilitation.

Living in an urban environment, there are still plenty of raccoons around. Sometimes the raccoons come too much in contact with people. They get into fights with dogs, people don't properly critter proof their houses, and momma coons get separated from their babies.

So.....I'd be working with baby coons that can't be with their mommas because momma disappeared or died. The ones I'd be working with are ones still needing to nurse - bottle feeding them. The little buggers have to be fed every few hours. When they are really little, they can't 'self-potty'. The caregiver has to do it for them. Instead of licking them like momma, a little piece of tissue will do. You simply tickle them where the pee and poo come out and voila - they can relieve themselves.

So why did I post this little video? Yes, it's cute and funny. But it also shows so many ways people shouldn't treat these wild animals. They are not pets. They are wild animals. It is usually illegal to keep a raccoon as a pet. Only someone with the proper permits/licensing is allowed to have them (ie like a rehabber). These are folks who are specially trained for working with this animals.

Here's a link to some good coon info:
http://wdfw.wa.gov/living/raccoons.html

After moving back to the States from Dubai, I had to ask myself 'What's next'? Well, I thought, I have not used my marine biology degree for a while so maybe something working with wildlife? Well.....it looks like the 'what's next' may have found me.

So.......we'll see what the future hold for me!

Peace.
 

How to build a self-made voting guide

So, after seeing all the craziness on social media about the current pack of candidates for US president, I think a bit of discussion is in order on how to figure out whom one is going to vote for. Here's what I was taught when contemplating a presidential vote........

1. Make a list of all the issues that are important to (insert your name here) down the left side of a piece of paper.

2. Across the top of the piece of paper, write in columns the names of all the available candidates.

3. READ. And I mean gonna have to read more then one news source. And I mean news source, not just the opinion of some random blogger mom whose three readers are herself, her father and her very very interesting cat. I prefer my news in print - newspapers, Time Magazine etc.... Look to see if candidates align with (insert your name here)'s ideas/wants/desires.

4. If candidates actually have already held office, research their voting records. Do their votes align with (insert your name)'s ideas/wants/desires.

5. DO NOT WATCH OR TRUST POLITICAL ADS!!!!! Yeah, I know I posted one on here for Hillary, but I've already seriously begun this exercise I'm laying out for you. If you only vote by watching the ads, then you are allowing someone with more money then you to tell you how to vote.

6. As you work on this little score sheet, think about the candidates and their potential influence over the US Supreme Court. The appointing of Supreme Court justices is one of the longest lasting decision(s) any president will ever make.

7. Keep your homemade list/score sheet handy through the election season.

8. Don't be tempted to vote the way 'everyone else' around you is voting. Stick to your little score sheet. Vote for the candidate that is the best for (insert your name here)!

9. Let the good times roll.

Peace.

Hallelujah and Get Ready to Vote!!!!!

Ok ok ok.  I know. The next US presidential election is like a year away. But I gotta tell ya, I LOVED this ad.

First, I think Hillary Clinton is the only person running who has what it takes to truly handle foreign policy. I mean, how are we gonna do better then someone who has been Secretary of State? And, clearly from the ad, she's pro-gay-rights. Excellent......

And you know why I'm happy to vote nothing but Democratic in the next big election? I'm seriously tired of seeing members of the Republican party put time and effort into bills that I just can't support. For instance:
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/apr/11/survivors-crusade-conversion-therapy-ban-pray-gay-away
In the above article is the following quote:

"Last year, Texas Republicans adopted a platform backing reparative therapy “for those patients seeking healing and wholeness from their homosexual lifestyle” and stating no laws to prohibit it should be introduced." 

'Reparative therapy' is not what a lot of folks think it is. It's dangerous.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2015/04/10/conversion-reparative-sexual-reorientation-therapy/25515619/

Homosexual lifestyle? Lifestyle? Yes, I'm sure someone would totally choose to be looked down upon in our society. I'm sure someone would choose to deal with discrimination their whole life. NOT!!!!!  It's not a 'lifestyle'. If someone is gay, it's not a choice. Period. Full stop.

Peace.

 

 

Obama Condemns 'Conversion' Therapy

Let me begin with a link to a news story:
http://www.cnn.com/2015/04/08/politics/white-house-seeks-ban-on-gay-conversion-therapies/

Have you ever heard the phrase "Pray the gay away"? This phrase is a rather crass way to talk about conversion therapy, but it's fairly accurate, in my opinion. There are two sizeable conversion therapy programs that I am aware of. The first is Exodus International and the other is through Focus on the Family. And, Exodus International shut down and issued an apology. http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/20/us/exodus-international-shutdown/  And, I believe but am not fully sure, that Love Won Out merged with Exodus International sometime around 2009. (Don't be afraid to fact check me on that one.) So....one would think that this kind of thing wouldn't be around any more. However, it is.  Sometimes now it is called reparative therapy.  It doesn't repair, however, it causes great damage in young people.

https://youtu.be/wD4sWQG2DnQ

In the video by Vice, you hear guys talking about what's 'typical' in the gay community. I truly believe that if there is self-destructive behavior it's because those who are lesbian or gay, are not fully accepted by society and various religious organizations. If someone is gay and is able to get married and legally have children, if they are looked at just like any heterosexual is then they are going to have an easier life. A rough childhood isn't going to make someone gay. A happy childhood isn't going to make someone gay. Being an LGBT person is not a person who needs to be 'fixed'. Do I respect the right of a legal adult to choose reparative therapy? Sure. They are an adult. Do I believe that anyone should be told they need or should seek reparative therapy? No.

So....I'm so glad to read the announcement that President Obama has condemned conversion therapy. However, I truly believe that until it's condemned by Christian churches, it's going to continue to find a clientele of terrified parents. As for those adults whom we saw in the Vice video who were attending the camp in Texas, I think they'd be a lot less unhappy if they could legally marry as a gay person, legally adopt kids in their home state as a gay person, and be accepted in their faith communities as gay people. But that's another whole post.

Peace.
 

Max - World's most interesting Cat

I think I've posted this picture before, but I couldn't resist putting it on the blog today. Max is our rescued kitty we brought back from the Middle East. He's got a birth defect in his right front paw and enjoys wrestling with Layla - our scruffy American adopted dog.

Jesse, our 'desert dog' we rescued in the Middle East, doesn't generally partake in the mirthful behavior of Max and Layla.

We have a strange family activity of thinking up funny imagined exploits of Max - World's most interesting cat that are in the same vein as the Dos Equis 'World's Most Interesting Man'.

I find that animals have personalities. Yes, some science type might say I'm just trying to label them with human qualities, but I just don't think so. I see Max go over to a sleeping peaceful Layla and gently poke her face as if to say, "Hey there sister. I'm bored. Why don't you chew on my head for a while." Naturally, Layla happily obliges and chews on Max's head. When Max has had enough, he'll just barely tap Layla with some claws and the head chewing subsides.

At any rate, I love my critters. Whatever kind of day I'm having, they always make it better. And, I'm glad I don't need anything to chew on my head to cure my boredom.
Peace.

Desperately needing some clear blue water and the battle for equal rights

I get a serious mix of stuff popping up on my social media feed. Here's the latest:
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/31/opinion/david-brooks-religious-liberty-and-equality.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&bicmp=AD&bicmlukp=WT.mc_id&bicmst=1409232722000&bicmet=1419773522000&_r=0


Two quotes from the above commentary by David Brooks:

"This deviation seems unwise both as a matter of pragmatics and as a matter of principle. In the first place, if there is no attempt to balance religious liberty and civil rights, the cause of gay rights will be associated with coercion, not liberation. Some people have lost their jobs for expressing opposition to gay marriage. There are too many stories like the Oregon bakery that may have to pay a $150,000 fine because it preferred not to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex ceremony. A movement that stands for tolerance does not want to be on the side of a government that compels a photographer who is an evangelical Christian to shoot a same-sex wedding that he would rather avoid."

And the second quote:

"In cases of actual bigotry, the hammer comes down."

I'm no expert on law. But, it seems like if you are a business open to the public, you have to accept business as it comes to you. Now, I know of a contractor who would refuse to take a job now and then if the potential customer wanted him to 'match the paint color exactly to this little throw pillow'. This refusal was because the contractor wasn't a decorator. What the potential customer really needed was a decorator for picking out colors and doing design. The contractor then comes in and does the decided upon design work.

It gets trickier dealing with the whole 'baking a cake for a same-sex wedding' scenario. If the customer is asking for a specific cake design and color of frosting that the baker just doesn't have the skill to pull off (like a giant 6 foot high cake that looks like a mountain range in Rocky Mountain National Park complete with built in water feature - truly, a cake I would personally LOVE), then the baker could say, "Hey, that is a seriously cool idea but I just don't have the skills and the kitchen to pull it off. But, we could do this other type of cake I've had a lot of success with and rave reviews on. Otherwise, I know this very artistic baker down the street who might be able to pull off the mountain range cake concept." This is a business exchange.

Now, let's take this a step further. Let's say a baker is asked to make a cake that looks like a giant pair of breasts. Probably not that hard to pull off (I personally love to bake cakes but really prefer to eat the frosting, but I digress). A baker could just make two large round cakes and frost them accordingly. Now, our baker in question thinks this is weird and offensive because cakes shouldn't look like female anatomy. But, the baker doesn't have a good business reason to reject the cake. So...the breast cake gets made. (Besides, it's breasts. Something like 50% of the world has them. And secretly our fictional baker digs this project....but I digress...)

Now, a young couple walks into a bakery, one person is of African American descent and the other is of northern European descent and is also American (ie they are black and white). They ask to have a wedding cake made that is very easy to make and very traditional. If the baker said, "Nope. Won't do it. You both shouldn't get married; you're not meant to be together;" the baker would be called a racist and this kind of stuff was a piece of what the civil rights movement of the 1960's strived so hard to see outlawed.

But, today, if that couple above was two guys, the baker could say, "Nope, not doing it. You bother me and creep me out because my religion says that it's ok to be bothered and creeped out by you."  I really don't see how this is not discrimination.  There are still people in this country who are bothered and creeped out by racially mixed marriages, but that shouldn't prevent those marriages from happening or from those couples be refused services anywhere.

Yes, "in cases of actual bigotry, the hammer comes down". And refusing to serve a couple because they happen to be 'same-sex' is bigotry.

Can I go snorkeling now on a beautiful what sand beach with lots of happy fish, please? No, not yet. I have to pay to re-do my kitchen first. Or I could just tell my contractor, "I can't pay you because it's against my religion because my personal beliefs say that spending time on white sand beaches snorkeling with fish is more important." Nah...wouldn't do that because it would be the wrong thing to do. I'll just have to wait for some quality lake time up in the woods.

Peace.
PS the photo above I shot from my kayak on my favorite lake last summer

The Secret Gay Rights Activist

Since like, 3 people read this blog, and one of those is my cat, this probably won't cause much of a stir. If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm pro 'gay-rights' or you could say 'pro-LGBT'. I also am a Christian. Wow, mind blowing probably. How can I be 'pro-LGBT' and Christian at the same time? Well, I am. I don't fit very well into any specific box. (fyi....in this post I use gay/homosexual interchangeably. I'm not great with using the best words all the time but hopefully you'll 'get' what I'm trying say. No meanness meant or anything)

I had a conversation the other day with an ordained person (ie they are a pastor/priest/rev person).  We spoke candidly about those who are homosexual within our shared denomination.

I'm going to share with you what hurt me the most. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, if you are one who is not 'pro-LGBT' AND you are one who's trying to convince someone to see things your way, this is a list of what NOT to say because all it did was hack me off and hurt - not the best way to have a conversation. Do I really want to help those who are not 'pro-LGBT'? No, I don't. However, if I can't state "I feel hurt when...." then there's no conversation. So, here goes......

1. Don't compare someone who's gay to an alcoholic. I could totally become addicted to shopping and kayaking, and probably booze if I drank when I'm bummed out. But, my shopping, kayaking and booze drinking are something that I can stop. Someone who's gay, can't just walk away. It's just the way they are. And while you're at it, don't compare someone who's gay to those who cheat in a marriage either. That's just mean. And it hurts my heart to hear it.

2. Don't say that the church treats all sinners equally. It's an outright lie. I've known pastors who cheated on their spouse, divorced, re-married, and went right on pastoring. Our denomination doesn't ordain those who are gay. So just don't go there. Plus, being gay isn't a sin. Anyone who is gay is still a God created human being, and God made them just fine the way they are.

3. Don't say that the church shouldn't react to whatever change is happening in pop culture. The church doesn't react to pop culture. I think pop culture reflects our understanding of the human condition. Hmmm....we ordain women (which I fully support). So when our denomination used to say ordaining women wasn't biblically based, but now we've re-examined how we do things, and now ordain women...we weren't wrong to ordain women. Biblical interpretations change. So don't use the whole 'pop culture' cop-out. The world is changing, and I think it scares you.

4. Don't say that those who are gay can choose to be celibate. But I thought you said it's a lifestyle choice? You said that marriage is meant for being between one man and one woman, and someone who's gay needs to choose celibacy. Why? You sound conflicted.....you know they can't choose to not be gay. Why would you want to see a human being condemned to a life of loneliness? Yes, some people choose a monastic lifestyle, but that's the only option you're offering to those who are gay as acceptable? That just doesn't make sense.... And it hurts me to hear it.

5. Don't compare being gay to having a genetically based disease. We don't know why God creates some people gay and others straight. Saying someone who's gay is genetically diseased hurts. They can't be changed. They are the way the are - just as God made them. And...don't try to argue using pseudo-science with a scientist (which I am). All you're gonna do is hack me off.

So guess what? Even though I disagree with you, I'm still going to be sitting there in church with you. I'm still going to speak up when I hear something I disagree with. I'll try as usual to be respectful of other's feelings, but I'm not going to hide mine. Am I going to go charging through the church waving a big rainbow flag? No, but I will continue to speak. And I bet that there are many people sitting there in church who feel just like me but are too afraid to speak out. Maybe, if they hear me say how I feel in a class, or Bible study, or just over coffee, then maybe they won't be afraid anymore.

Peace.

by the way.... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-shore/gayaffirming-conservative-pastors_b_5145936.html  I just read this. Awesome. Yes....don't be afraid to have the conversation.
 

Zombie Shrimp? and Yet another reason I don't eat seafood

Just read a story via Good Morning America and Yahoo News:
https://gma.yahoo.com/terrifying-parasites-turn-shrimp-zombies-eat-young-210355210--abc-news-health.html


(The picture is from the above website link via ABC News.)

This is a species of Irish shrimp, Gammarus duebeni. An article abstract I found stated that these little buggers have a tendency towards cannibalism. Awesome.....unless you're another G. duebeni. (http://www.jstor.org/discover/10.2307/1660?sid=21106162206183&uid=2&uid=4&uid=2129&uid=70)

According to the article via the first link above, these guys get infected with a parasite that causes them to go nuts and eat their babies.

Now, a brief detour......
I don't eat any seafood. None. Zip. Zilch. I can't stand the smell or texture. I don't mind, however, working doing food prep for an aquarium (did that, really). I never can understand why eating these little buggers (or their 'brethren' at any rate) is so appealing. Shrimp eat basically whatever they can find - yummy dead fish, yummy dead fish skin, yummy whatever drifts down to the bottom. Yum, yum, yum! Yes, many would say that they are a relatively healthy choice, but when I see people munch straight into them I think, "You realize you're eating their digestive system (ie the poop track)." That's right - that little black slimy line through the middle? That's the digestive tack or the 'poop track'. Yummy right? You should 'de-vein' them (ie remove the poop track) if you're going to enjoy munching on these little buggers.

So back to the eating of their babies.....
I have a degree in Marine Biology. Knowing who's eating whom down in the ocean is like knowing the not so delicious details of a horror movie. Fascinating to know all about the critters under the ocean, but I'll pass on the seafood buffet and the possibility that I'm dining on someone who ate their children. But go ahead, you enjoy!

Peace.

Creepy ads that know you

My absolute favorite heels are made by Born. The style is 'Dollie'.  I have a pair in black, and I love them! I can traverse for several miles in them. I've worn them standing on my feet all day. Next to my hiking boots and dressy winter boots, they are my favorite travel shoes.
Picture is courtesy of Macy's.
http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/born-dollie-shooties?ID=1664032&pla_country=US&CAGPSPN=pla&CAWELAID=120156340000847342&catargetid=120156340001070650&cadevice=c&cm_mmc=Google_Nongender_Shoes_PLA_PLA-_-Nongender+Shoes+Brands_Born-_-65707792623_-_-_mkwid_tmHfcHBg|dc_65707792623%7C-%7CtmHfcHBg


Sorry, picture is kinda grainy but hopefully you get the idea. So I really really wanted the brown ones (called 'Coffee') but couldn't get them via my fave local family owned shoe store where I bought my black ones. So, I went to the internet. I did a search using good 'ol Google, and visited several websites - Born, Macy's, Zappos, Amazon etc... I eventually did find a pair in the color and size I wanted (yeah, me!). But now....the creepy part....

In my email accounts, on my social media accounts, seemingly EVERYWHERE, I have ads popping up in the margins for this exact style/brand/color of shoe! These EXACT shoes are now everywhere I am online! Really? Yes, really.

So, I'm used to ads but not ads so specifically targeted at me. So...of course I 'googled' and found this:
http://www.wired.com/2009/03/googles-new-ad/ Google evidently has a new 'ad network'. Creepy but true.  

I wonder what happens if I search for hemorrhoid cream? Hmmmm..... let's run a test.....

I googled 'hemorrhoid cream' and visited links to several pharmacies including Walgreens and
CVS.  Now I'm getting ads for auto insurance. Does this mean that I'm supposedly spending so much time sitting in my car that I have hemorrhoids? Clearly the big brother of the internet doesn't know everything.  I spend too much time sitting at my computer typing crap that like only 6 people read.

Peace.

Queen Rania of Jordan

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6781160
Great video interview of Queen Rania of Jordan.

Response to 28 Reasons I’m DONE Talking To Most Of My Conservative Friends And Family Members

First, let me post a link to the article I'm referencing:
http://www.liberalamerica.org/2015/02/11/28-reasons-im-done-talking-to-most-of-my-conservative-friends-and-family-members/

I commented via a social media site on a comment posted by someone else who was referencing the above article. (Whew, that's a confusing sentence....)

Now....here's the comment I posted to social media:
"I'm a very liberal person living in a very not liberal place. (I have not read the article Tom posted, but I'm responding to a comment above). I can't really try to go from empathy to changing someone's mind. I'm deeply hurt when folks, especially in a religious setting, try to change my mind. Therefore, I feel that it is important for me to not try to change their mind. So what do I do? If asked how I feel on a topic, I answer as honestly as possible. But, I also expect others to answer honestly as well. What becomes interesting is in the 'why'. Why do I feel the way I do? Why do you feel the way that you do? When an honest and open discussion of the 'why' happens, then I believe learning (on both sides) can happen. It's in the situations where no one is interested in the 'why' or even hearing the 'what' to begin with that the communication breaks down. I can be very good friends with those who don't feel as I do on certain topics. It's when someone tries to change me that a relationship will dissolve." - Me here at Fish are Friends

I have since read the whole article. Parts of it I think are spot on. Other parts I feel are a stereotype of the conservative side of things. For instance,
"7. You care more about your guns than you do about children." Sorry, but I feel that this is a stereotype. I know lots of people who own lots of guns - duh I live in the South! However, those same people also desperately love their families and do lots of awesome work in their communities AND help others in need. I'm sorry but owning a gun doesn't mean someone cares more about guns then kids. Am I for gun control? Absolutely. But I believe that number 7 is just too broad a statement.

Moving on. #6 on the above article:
"6. You question my faith." This is one of the hardest things for me to deal with as a liberal Christian living in the American South. I couldn't function without my relationship with Jesus. But it blows me away mentally when I have my faith questioned in my own church when I refuse to say that someone of another faith is 'wrong'. I just don't feel it's right for me to think that just because I'm of 'my' faith that everyone else who's of 'their' faith is 'wrong'.  Just because I have amongst my friends people who are not Christian and I don't strive to convert them, please don't accuse me of 'not being Christian'.

#24 on the above article:
"24. You think our religion is the only one." This kinda leads back to my comments from #6. We live in a global society. We won't survive peacefully unless we agree to coexist. It's when we strive to push and shove to make others like 'us' that extremism grows. When someone feels marginalized and without hope, how are they likely to react? In my not so humble opinion, the greatest weapon against religious extremism is tolerance and the understanding that coexistence is vital.

#25 on the above article:
 "25. You are lazy and you refuse to read."  I don't characterize not reading the news as laziness. I do however, think it speaks volumes about the state of education in our country. Someone who's liberal might  say, "Oh, they don't read at least three printed news sources therefore they are lazy." Well, many people see what I read and how much I read and they are amazed. "How do you read that? How do you read ALL of that?" Many Americans don't have a high enough reading level to absorb a lengthy article from say 'Time Magazine' let alone something like 'The Economist'. Many Americans don't have enough understanding of geography to even understand where some major news stories are taking place. It's not always laziness; it's frequently a lack in education.

Being a democracy is hard work. You have to really want it and want it badly. The hardest part is allowing those we disagree with the most the right to their freedom of speech.

Peace.